Ant #230. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Ant #229. Good-bye, 2013!

Yes, this is the end of 2013.
"Finally" or "naaaaaaw, so sad"?
How about you, guys?
Was it good or not so?

To me it was... I still don't know actually. I'm typing this letters and I have no f*cking idea about atmosphere of following text.

Well, this year was... interesting. Yes, interesting! Full of life events, crazy changes, storm of emotions positive and negative.

If you know me personally, you definitely know what happened to me in 2013, so there's no need to talk about it again and again. Let's better talk about what I've learned.

-> We must fight our fears. Anything we want to do or to get is much easier than we think. We just need to believe in ourselves and follow our dreams.

-> Sometimes those who say they are our friends are not. And sometimes help comes from those who (according to your thoughts) would never do anything for you. Look clearly, open your mind and give people chances to show who they really are.

-> I stopped being ashamed of myself. I no longer pretend to be who I'm not. And this is such a great feeling, so comfortable inside, so relaxing. I am who I am, get over it!

-> I saw once again how fragile my heart is. I changed my whole life for a love, but I've been thrown away. And that was damn painful. The worst experience ever. And I promise it will never happen again. None bitch is worth my tears. I lock my heart and drop the key into Pacific Ocean. Ciao!

-> It's hard to forgive... I can forgive anything but betraying. I know it's not good, but I can't fight myself. Every time I see someone who hurt me the flame of hate inside of me fires up again. It burns my chest. And I only calm down when this person goes away.

Well, you see... It comes out kinda bittersweet.
But believe me or not, I think it was a good year. I wouldn't like to live it up once again, but I also wouldn't skip it.

Any experience is always experience!

The "Happy New Post" I will write tomorrow!

Ant #228. Dad.

Today is my dad's 65th birthday!

I cannot celebrate it with my family like I couldn't celebrate my mom's b-day coz I'm on the other side of the planet, but of course I have called him to wish him all the best!

My relationships with him never were easy, he has some issues, so do I. 

But it's just because we are too similar. 

If you wanna know who's Mr. Dad, look at me. He's strict, strong, serious and knows exactly what he wants. And if I ever will be a father, I wanna be like him. 

He always gives me the best advices and never ask me silly questions about the weather or what I've eaten. You know, the crap that all moms want to know! )))))

So... Happy birthday, dad! ;-)

Ant #227. Merry Xmas! Vol. 1

Vol. 1, because there will be vol. 2 on January 7th, when Xmas will come to orthodox christian Russia!

Sooooo...

For all those who celebrate Xmas today!

I wish you all the best! 

Find the brightest star on the sky and make a wish and I promise it will come true!

Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho! XD

Ant #226. Coyote Ugly.

When I was a teenager, I watched the movie "Coyote Ugly".
It was a crap actually, but the soundtrack was pretty good and I fell in love with one song.
It's stupid, but so romantic!
Let's sing it together!

Ant #225. Caution or paranoia?

Every time someone good shows an interest in me, treats me well, respect me etc., I feel like running away / disappearing / dying.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

I destroy my own happiness.

Ant #224. 30 years of democracy.

A few days ago there was a huge holiday in Argentina, the 30th anniversary of democracy.
And even if some people here don't think that they live a good life (financially), I keep telling that money cannot bring you the feeling of freedom!

I used to live in a place where you can earn good money, but every single day you live in a fear!
You cannot express yourself, you must pretend someone else.
I'm not even saying that when you walk across the streets you are much more afraid of police than of criminals.

Here I feel free to be who I am!
No shame and no fear!
And I would never change it for money!

MAS DERECHOS, MAS DEMOCRACIA!
More rights, more democracy!

Ant #223. The end of the world.

It all started just like a regular rain.
But in a moment I realized that we stuck in the cafe with other people.
Thunder appeared with a strong wind, more looking like a tornado.

The windows and doors (also made from glass) were shaking.
I made a few steps back and heard a waterfall behind me.

Kids and their moms in the cafe started screaming and crying.
I tried to keep calm and make jokes out of all this crap, but it wasn't funny at all.
My friend told me that it happens sometimes in their region, but I didn't believe it.
If it was true, people wouldn't pay attention to it.
Other way around, their reaction was close to panic.
Staff tried to do something, but it all was pointless.
They decided to shut down electricity to avoid electrical shock (there were lots of cables everywhere inside the walls and ceiling).
Once they did it, we heard that something fell on the floor very loudly.
Lately we saw that it was the ceiling, it crashed down!
That moment I really got scared!

Suddenly the storm went away and the staff turned on the light.
And we saw all the damages.
Thanx God, nobody was wounded!

We started thinking about letting out of this place, but the storm came back and the next moment the whole street left without electricity.
We called to our friend that lives in a few blocks from this cafe.
Luckily mobile phones were working.
The storm seemed to go away and we decided to use this opportunity to leave the cafe until it comes back again.
It all made me feel like I was in a scary movie!

But after "swimming" we arrived to our friend's home, wet, but alive!

Thanx, San Francisco, for making me appreciate my life even more!
It was a great experience!

Ant #222. Giving up.

Is it good when you give up on something/someone you really want/need/wish?
I was always sure that giving up is what weak people do. I said that we must fight for our dreams.

But how long can you fight for what will never ever come true?
Like when you fight for someone but this person doesn't give a shit about you.
You can fight as long as you want, waste your time, your energy, but you'll be alone anyway.

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE.
Enough! I was suffering too much, I was asking, begging... but actually fooling myself.
You're not worth it. I need someone who can appreciate my love.
Bye.

Ant #221. Sade and Sasha.

I wonder how many of you know the singer Sade.
She's my night time satelite.
I always play her music when I'm down.
Those who know me in real life could realize it easily.

But probably nobody knows how I discovered her.
She was one of my first love's fav singers.
Sasha always played her when we were driving her car at night, drinking coffee and talking.

Interesting... Where is she now? I haven't heard anything about her for years.
I hope she's doing well.

We didn't even kiss. I was a little boy, but she was already a woman.
But I loved being with her all the time.
I was enjoying every single minute...
Until one day she moved to another city.
Then we talked a couple times but never saw each other again.

But seriously, I hope she's doing well!
One the greatest persons I ever met.

If you feel me now, Sasha, this song is for you! <3

*  *  *

Ant #220. Wonderful wonderful life!

Me @ Puerto Madero (Buenos Aires)

Hi, guys!
Nothing to say except of I had a great day today!
If you think that something special happened, you're wrong! ;-P
But I had an amazing mood, I felt happy, walked to my fav Puerto Madero, drank frappe...
That's it!

I've been down for to long. It's time to change it!
I wanna smile to the world and I hope the world will smile to me!

Whoever reads it, I'm sending positive vibes to you!
Mwah!

Check out this song!
It's a wonderful wonderful life! ^_^

Ant #219. Martin Solveig.

Oooooooh, I like him since I heard his song "Madan" back in 2004.
And I was so happy when I knew that he was the opening act artist during Madonna's MDNA Tour.

And at one of the concerts I've visited I had a great moment with him!
He gave me his personal "Smash" head band! I wrote about it here.
He was so nice to me! ^_^

So why am I saying it?

HE'S COMING TO BUENOS AIRES!
WOO-HOO!

And of course I have already bought a ticket!

But before going to his concert party I gotta learn the dance! Check it out! So f*cking funny! And he's wearing a russian t-shirt! XD

And here is the new song itself (the one from video)! It's so teethbreaking! BLOW!!!

Ant #218. I loved you...

A. S. Pushkin

* * *

I loved you, and I probably still do,

And for a while the feeling may remain...

But let my love no longer trouble you,

I do not wish to cause you any pain.

I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,

The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -

Made up a love so tender and so true

As may God grant you to be loved again.

*  *  *

This poem is written by the greatest russian poet Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin.

Ant #217. Hello from the past.

A few days ago I saw on my Facebook newsfeed that one of my russian friends is travelling across the South America and about to arrive to Buenos Aires.

As you can see, we are not very close friends. I know her thanks to Madonna's fan club and we met each other just a couple times on different parties, but I always considered her as a very smart, intelligent and beautiful girl.

She travels with her italian friend, so we had to speak english all the time for everybody could understand everything. Well, not a big deal! ;-)

We met in La Boca! Those who like tango definitely heard this name! The world capital of tango, the place where it was born and turned into an art!

We spent an amazing day, talked about everything! She didn't know that I moved here, so of course she wanted to know all the details! I also asked her about our mutual friends.

What a flash-back! Like I left Russia just yesterday! ^_^

Ant #216. Halloween.

Goshhhhhh!
Finally it's passed!
I so dislike this holiday. But even more I dislike all these hysterical things that mess with all this crap.

No, seriously! I like celebrations, but I like being myself, I don't wanna make costumes, make-up etc.
And every year some of my friends drive me crazy trying to push me to join Halloween parties.

This year wasn't an exception!
But I'm fine now! 356 days till the next hell!

Ant #215. Benjamin Vicuña.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh, Benjamin! <3

I just wanna leave these pictures here!

One of the sexiest men alive! ^_^

Ant #214. Half a year.

Oops, just found this in Drafts folder.

Probably I was about to write a "half-a-year-living-in-Argentina" post.

Aha, half a year, I came here on apr 22.

But what should I write about?

Everything I was dreaming about is destroyed.

Sorry, I'm not in the mood to write a great inspiring post!

*CANCELLED* 

Ant #213. Fun fact.

I went through the whole world to be with you, I did everything you wanted, I refused the idea to live in the place that I love coz you wanted me to live in Cordoba and after all this months I still love you with all my heart,

BUT

you keep considering me as a cold, selfish and arrogant person.

Ant #212. Just an idiot.

Leaving Cordoba in 30 mins. Leaving my last hope.

Why the hell did I come here? What was I expecting? 

He said his feelings were true, while my feelings ARE true. 

Seeing him was the worst torture in my life! Just imagine, guys, how it feels to see in front of you a person who you love with all your heart, more than your life, and not to have a possibility to kiss or hug or even touch him. 

He left me on the street and I burst in tears... Yeah, like a silly girl. 

I just wanted to look into his eyes to see if he still feels something to me and I didn't see anything. I don't even know now if he ever loved me. I still feel absolutely the same to him, but he's got cold. So damn quickly. 

He said "we broke up because we are too different". One of us must be an idiot. 

Good bye, Cordoba! See you... well, never. 

Ant #211. Carla Morrison.

This poster blew my mind when I saw it!

Carla Morrison, mexican singer, very tallented girl, is coming to my city!

She's not worldwide famous, but it only makes her more autentical, more inderpendent and more artistic.

I discovered her accidentely. There was a free song of her on iTunes, I downloaded it and loved it! Then I downloaded the whole album and found it amazingly good!

She sings spanish, and I used to hate all the spanish songs, but she has become and exception for me!

But I never thought that one day I'll see her life, coz I doubt she would ever come to Russia with a concert. But I'm not there anymore, I'm here, and I got a great opportunity to see my first spanish-singing "crash" ever! )))

So... I got a 1st row ticket! ;-)
Once the 1st row bitch, always the 1st row bitch! XD

Take a look on her video!
It's very nice!

Ant #210. No regrets!

Friend: Ok... Do you regret coming to Argentina?

Me: It's a difficult question. I could say "NO, I don't regret", but it wouldn't be the 100% truth.

Friend: I get it.

Me: I've always loved Argentina, escpecially BsAs, and I knew that one day I'll be living here, but I thought this dream will come true when I'll be 50-60 years old. Because all my family is still in Russia. I was thinking about moving to another country, but I was looking at Spain or UK, something close to my home, so I could see my family frequently. Now I'm here and it doesn't seem even possible to visit them, it's too expensive. That's it. And I'm not even talking about that I lost everything (my job with a good salary, my home in Moscow, my friends... everything...). I came here with my burning heart and it all ended so quickly... So how do you think I feel now?!

Friend: I can imagine... But how is your mindset now? Are you willing to stay?

Me: I feel like a paper boat in a river... The water is driving me somewhere but I don't know where exactly. I'm about to stay, but just because there's no sense to come back. The same crap, everything from the beginning. So I think I'm gonna try to build my new life here. I can come back any time, but I should try to stay.

Friend: Nice! I had no idea what you had been through... Please count on me for anything you need, I'll always do my best to help.

Me: Well, I'm a strong and very positive man, I had even worse times in my life. Not a big deal! ))) And thank you very much, I do really appreciate it!

Ant #209. Madonna by Madonna.

Madonna @ Harper's Bazzar

Finally I found a free time, sat down calmly, opened my laptop and read the interview that Madonna gave to Harper's Bazaar magazine.

I'm not gonna repeat what she said, you can read it here.

I just wanna say that it's not only one of her most sincere interviews, but also words confessions of a grown woman that went through a "filth" and found a wisdom, was a provocative girl with hairy armpits and became a mother of 4 beautiful children.

And now when she discovered the light she wants to share it with us. She says we must be daring ourselves. That's what she's been doing all these years, that's how she's got everything she has now.

Daring, challenging ourselves... Every day! Non-stop! So we can go ahead and make the world a better place for everyone: black, white, muslim, jew, gay, straight!
We must open our eyes and admit the truth: in our hatred, intolerance and disconnection we have gone too far and something must be done until it's too late.

Be a freedom fighter and never give up!

"If I can't be daring in my work or the way I live my life, then I don't really see the point of being on this planet."

"If you aren't willing to fight for what you believe in, then don't even enter the ring."

*  *  *

Read the full interview here.

Ant #208. Montevideo.

I can't believe it's happening!
Yes, I'm going to Uruguay!
FINALLY!!!

Probably you don't know how many times I tried to visit this country, but the destiny was against me)))

In 2009, in november, I came to Argentina for the very first time, for 2 weeks. The plan was to see a couple of places here and then go to Montevideo. But the problem was that I needed visa. I went to the embassy of Uruguay 2 months before the trip and started the application. They promissed that it had to take 2 weeks, but at the departure day my visa still wasn't ready! So I canceled my plan to visit this country. Instead of this I went to Iguazu waterfalls! And it was awesome, to be honest!

In 2012, in december, I came to South America again to see Madonna's shows. The plan was to stay in Buenos Aires for 2 shows, then go to Santiago (Chile) for 1 show, come back to Argentina (to Cordoba) for the last show and then I supposed to have a few free days and I wanted to go to Montevideo. That time luckily I didn't need to get visa. But in Chile my credit card was stolen and I wasn't able to pay my trip to Uruguay. So I canceled my trip to Uruguay again.

Now, after 4 years, nothing can stop me! Well, only if our boat will drown in Rio de la Plata))))
But I'm sure it won't happen and my dream finally will come true!

Ant #207. Revolution of Love.

This film is dedicated to those who have been persecuted,
are being persecuted,
or may be persecuted.

For the color of their skin.
Their religious beliefs.
Their artistic expression.
Their gender.
Or their sexual preferences.

Anyone whose human rights have been violated.

P.S. Thank you, Madonna. I'm proud of being your fan!

#SecretProject
#ArtForFreedom
#RevolutionOfLove

Ant #206. Guardian angels vol.2.

This evening was used to be another one simple evening which I always have.
I left my home and started walking to Recoleta district.

One of of crossroads I stopped waiting for the green light.
In a few meters on the left I saw a couple of tourists (obviously) talking to policeman and showing him a map. "They are looking for some sightseeings", I thought. I was listening to music in my headphones with no attention to anything. I looked at them again, the girl seemed frustrated. "There's a policeman!" I thought, "He can definitely help them!". That moment I saw the green light and stepped on the road. But suddenly I felt that I had to return.

I came to them and asked if they needed help. The girl told me that someone stole her wallet with all her cash and cresit cards. The policeman didn't speak english at all so I started translating. He told us to go to the nearest police departmen.

The couple was from UK. He was born there. She was born in Philippines, grew up in Germany, and now lives in UK.

They explained me how it happened. Typical situation, unfortunately. The thief opened her bag when they were standing on the crossroads.

We came to police department, nobody spoke english, so I was translating again. She called to her bank to block the cards. Then the officer told us to go to another police department, that was kinda frustrating. We moved there, finally wrote an announcement, recieved some papers and went to their hotel which was in front of my home actually.

The girls started crying coz she couldn't control her emotions any longer.
We found a table at lobby bar, ordered some coffee and started talking... talking about everything, our lives, jobs, families, plans for the future.

And in the end she said:
- "Do you believe in guardian angels? When I was a little girl my mom told me that if I ever meet a person who comes itself and help me when I'm in trouble I should know that he's my guardian angel! You are my guardian angel!" And I saw tears on her face.
Gosh....... :'(

Remember I wrote about my guardian angels here?
It's so great to be one for someone else.

Ant #205. FREEDOM!

FREEDOM is a RESPONSIBILITY!

You cannot justify your lies, bullying, discrimination with a freedom of expression, you only can use your personal freedom to support those who need our love and compassion.

If you use the freedom of speech to treat people badly, be sure that justice is coming.

We must be responsible!

We must be FREE!

artforfreedom.com

Ant #204. Pictures.

Why am I so stupid?
I know that's it gonna be a torture, but I do it again and again.
I scroll up pictures on my phone and watch it all... you... me... us...

I must delete all these pictures memories, but I can't.
We seem so happy on them.
Why has it gone?

:'(

Ant #203. Little Boots.

I totally forgot to describe the concert!

So...
Of course it wasn't the show that we all used to go. There weren't dancers, stage constructions, huge screens etc. But there was an awesome atmosphere! Joy, fun and crazy non-stop dance!

I came to the place a couple of hours before the concert. And I came really in time, coz Victoria came out on the street to welcome fans! So nice of her!
We talked a lil bit and took a picture!

Then she left and soon we got inside the venue. I stood in the 1st row, as usually )))
After a pretty cool warming-up performance Little Boots came on stage!

There was a cool story with me!
Before the show one of fans asked me if I wanted to get a poster. I chose one with the name of my fav song of her... "SHAKE".

When she was singing this song she saw it and... Take a look at 1:00!

It was sooooooo cool! )))

I came home tired as hell! It was one of the most exhausting (in a good way) concerts I've ever attended: I didn't stop dancing from the very beginning till the very end! ^_^

I hope I'll see her again!

Ant #202. Romanticism.

I saw this picture and remembered my ex... my... well, ex...

He never believed I could be romantic.
He took my warmness as a lie, he called me pretender.

I don't know what happened to him that he finds so hard to trust people.
I hope he will change, I hope he'll learn how to open his heart...

<3

Ant #201. Missing you...

Time keeps running away, but I'm still suffering.
I don't understand what happened between us and why...
It's said...

I live like in a vacuum.
No sense, no aim.

I just hope we meet once again before I go home...

Nothing can change my love for you.

ANT #200. RETROSPECTIVE vol.2.

Whoops once again!
I think it's time to have some rest and look what's happened to me in previous 100 posts!
Enjoy! ;-)

*   *   *

(Ant #103)

*   *   *

Someone gotta call 911!

I've received my salary and... have bought another 1 ticket on Madonna's show.

(Ant #104)

*   *   *

---

OMG! 30 minutes to sales! YES or NOT?

---

Woooop! I've just received an email from ICON with a passcode! ^_^

---

olympiahall.com is crashed! ))))

---

It works, but there aren't tickets!

---

SHIT! WORKS!

---

SHIT! DOESN'T WORK!

---

FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

---

F*CKIN' OLYMPIAHALL.COM! BURN IN HELL!!!

(Ant #107)

*   *   *

FINALLY!

I got one! The real stalker!!!

Haters are so irrelevant! I'm tired of them. But the stalker made my week! )))))))

This is what I call SUCCESS! )))

(Ant #114)

*   *   *

Please, whoever you are, F*CK OFF!

(Ant #116)

*   *   *

They both were looking for love, but found an asshole.

(Ant #155)

*   *   *

I looked at people around me and... BINGO!!! I was the only one "uncut" in the locker room! I swear, they all were cut!!!

(Ant #158)

*   *   *

I think I'm gonna try to register the new religion, something like "Madonnism", and sue fans of all other singers!!! ^_^

(Ant #165)

*   *   *

I started cooking frequently! This is so new to me. But we both are still alive! ^_^

(Ant #176)

Ant #199. Simple club or simple art?

I never visited something like this before!

A pretty night club in a small provincial argentinian city!

It calls KIKA! ;-)