Ant #231. To-do-in-2014 List.

OK!
In 2014 I want:

• Visit Brazil,
• Visit Peru,
• Visit Mexico,
• Visit the North of Argentina,
• Go to Russia to see my family,
• Find a new interesting job,
• Start studying (doesn't matter what),
• Pass driving licence exams,
• Save at least US$5000 for a future Madonna's tour,
• Be happy and loved.

Let's see what I'll make real till 31 of december of 2014!

;-) 

Ant #230. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Ant #229. Good-bye, 2013!

Yes, this is the end of 2013.
"Finally" or "naaaaaaw, so sad"?
How about you, guys?
Was it good or not so?

To me it was... I still don't know actually. I'm typing this letters and I have no f*cking idea about atmosphere of following text.

Well, this year was... interesting. Yes, interesting! Full of life events, crazy changes, storm of emotions positive and negative.

If you know me personally, you definitely know what happened to me in 2013, so there's no need to talk about it again and again. Let's better talk about what I've learned.

-> We must fight our fears. Anything we want to do or to get is much easier than we think. We just need to believe in ourselves and follow our dreams.

-> Sometimes those who say they are our friends are not. And sometimes help comes from those who (according to your thoughts) would never do anything for you. Look clearly, open your mind and give people chances to show who they really are.

-> I stopped being ashamed of myself. I no longer pretend to be who I'm not. And this is such a great feeling, so comfortable inside, so relaxing. I am who I am, get over it!

-> I saw once again how fragile my heart is. I changed my whole life for a love, but I've been thrown away. And that was damn painful. The worst experience ever. And I promise it will never happen again. None bitch is worth my tears. I lock my heart and drop the key into Pacific Ocean. Ciao!

-> It's hard to forgive... I can forgive anything but betraying. I know it's not good, but I can't fight myself. Every time I see someone who hurt me the flame of hate inside of me fires up again. It burns my chest. And I only calm down when this person goes away.

Well, you see... It comes out kinda bittersweet.
But believe me or not, I think it was a good year. I wouldn't like to live it up once again, but I also wouldn't skip it.

Any experience is always experience!

The "Happy New Post" I will write tomorrow!

Ant #145. 2013.

Sorry for delay, I've been too busy.

So... I don't even know what to say.
Last New Year post (Ant #14) I was crying and complaining.
This year everything changed!

So before I say something about 2013, I'd like to take a look on 2012.
How was it?
It was crazy! I had lots of fun, I got amazing impressions with MDNA Tour, I traveled so many places, I met so many people. But the most important is that I reloaded my consciousness and found love!
I didn't become richer in material way, but I became much richer in emotional way! I've learned how to open my heart to people that are really worth it. I've learned how to find 1 real person in millions of fakes. I've learned how to see the real feelings only by putting my hand on a pulse.

So for 2013 I have a great dream!
I cannot tell you now about it, coz I want it to come true!

Instead of this I wanna wish you all a wonderful year, I wish that this year will give us what we deserve, I want us to follow our dreams and go ahead!

Forever yours,
Just Me.

Ant #138. Ok, Georgia!

Well well well, guys!
I have to confess! I got crazy! )))))

The flag of Georgia

I'm gonna spend my winter holidays in Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia.
Georgia isn't a north american state, it's a country on the south of Caucasus Mountains.

I can't wait to go to the country of wine and freedom!

I've never been there before and I think that for a lot of people Georgia is kinda exotic place, isn't it?
That's why I'm double-excited! ^_^
I love strange places!

And for a few days my relatives (they are going there as well) and me are planning to go to the mountains for skiing that I also never did )))))
The place calls Gudauri. It's a small luxury city for those who love extreme sports.
I'm sure it will be very funny, I just hope to survive it all! ;-)

*   *   *

So... What are your plans for New Year holidays? Tell me!

Ant #135. Multitasking.

Sometimes I wish I had 10 hands and 5 heads.
I try to be multitasking, but it's too hard for me.
I'm not talking about eating and watching TV at the same time, no. I mean situations when you have to resolve many problems quickly and effectively. And my brain simply refuse to function.
Now is exactly this f*cking time. I have to fix my laptop, to find money for upcoming trip, to think about New Year Eve, to do something with my sh*tty job and finally I have to sort out with my personal life. Heaven, help me!!!

I always wonder how people can do so many things all at once. 

I only can do one by one, or I'll f*ck up all of them. I need to be very concentrated on details, this is how I live. But now I don't have enough time. 

I'm not giving up, but the more my deadline is coming closer, the more I wanna say "F*ck it all" and run away. 

Ant #13. Bye-bye...

Well...
Tomorrow the plane will take me away from here...

Today we have had a conversation via the third person. No understanding, no vision of problem, no wishing to get better, no respecting... For me it all means "no love".
Sad... Extremely sad... It's gonna be the "loneliest" New Year's Eve in my life.

But anyway I'm gonna be stronger for all of you, my friends! I love you, you make my days shiny and bright! So I wanna say something to you, just a few wishes.

I wish you all the best in New Year. I want all your dreams to come true. I want you to find a new job, if you don't have one. I want you to buy anything you need. I want you to travel wherever you want. I want you to bear a child, if you like. 
And for all the lonely hearts, I want you to find someone special, who will be loving you so badly and whom you'll be loving... Till death do you part.

Yours...

Ant #12. New Year.

What is New Year's Eve for you?
Do you believe that next year will be better than the previous one?
What are you expecting?

For me it's a magical time. From my childhood it's my favourite holiday. I remember how I was looking for gifts under the christmas tree, how I was waiting for Santa Claus, how I was reading poems to him.

Then I've matured. My habits have been changed. Vodka replaced gifts, friends replaced Santa Claus, clubs replaced poems. But I still thought it's a great time.

And what's now? Now I'm thinking New Year and Christmas are family holidays. But I don't have a family. Of course, I have parents and my lovely sister, but it's not what I mean. Family is the only one person whom you'd like to hug and never let him/her go.

I've lost all hopes... So it seems I'm gonna celebrate New Year with the broken heart and a fake smile.
The day after tomorrow I'll depart out of this f*cking city, out of this mad world, out of my mind.

See you...