Ant #325. Months of silence.

It's been a long time since I posted for the last time.
The reason is simple... I was on tour... Actually not me, Madonna was on tour (and still is) and I was following her all over Europe.

Cologne, Germany -> Prague, Czech Republic -> Berlin, Germany -> Stockholm,  Sweden -> Herning, Denmark -> Turin, Italy -> Barcelona, Spain -> Antwerp, Belgium -> Mannheim, Germany -> Zurich, Switzerland... 16 shows in 3 weeks...

+ touristic visits to Ljubljana, Slovenia -> Budapest, Hungary -> Bratislava, Slovakia and lots of time spent in Vienna, Austria.

It was the longest trip of my life. I missed Buenos Aires a lot. Finally I'm back home! ^_^

Actually I wanted to write an end-of-the-year post, but then I thought... What can I write about? There are million of crazy stories happened to me during this trip, but whatever I reveal someone will get in trouble ))) LOL)

I'll think of it and will post something, not sure what it will be. I have some days left! :-P

Ant #301. The day it's all begun.

The night on 22nd of february of 2001.
I'm a 15-years-old boy watching a TV, changing channels...
"Boring... Boring... Boring... Oh, Grammy Music Awards. Never heard of it. Let's check it out..."
And in a few second... "Wow! Limousine! Wait, wait... Wait a second, I know the melody, I heard this song in a club [yes, I was clubbing since 11] las saturday. What was the singer's name? It was cool, I remember... MADONNA! Yeah!"

When the performance ended, I was like "Oh my f*cking god! This woman is amazing and damn hot!"

It was the very first time I saw her on stage. Before that I didn't even know how she looked like. In my home-town we didn't have any music channels.
The day it has all begun! The day when my life has changed forever!

So it was pretty exciting to know she's about to perform at Grammy's again, this year, on february 8th. Can't wait to see it! With no doubt it will be phenomenal!

Ant #300. Mountain top you cannot get.

I won't be doing retrospectives any longer as I did every 100th post.
Let's better talk about something more interesting.

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with one of my best friends. About love, of course.
She asked me how many times I've been refused in my life. I replied that just once. And she said that I shouldn't be worried about possibility to die alone. Well, yeah, maybe... But it made me think about another thing.

Imagine that you perfectly play chess and lost the championship in the final. Or you do yoga and can strike any pose except of the only one. Or maybe you're the best alpinist and the only mountain top you cannot get is Everest.

And then imagine that you play chess so-so, don't do yoga at all and the only time you were in mountains was in your high school with your teacher of geography.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know how it feels to hear NO. I've got everyone I wanted... Well, almost...
I've been refused once, but I still cannot forget it. It follows me. And I guess that it's even worse than if it was kinda usual for me.

Ant #299. Fuck me, I'm 29.

This is the last year of my 20s. But I'm not sad at all. Moreover I'm happy! I don't get people who say that they miss their youths. I like growing up, I like becoming smarter, I like getting deeper. The youth is a horrible time. You're just an idiot with strange interests and bad company. Luckily this time is in the past! I'm looking forward to turn 30! ^_^

I don't know why but today I woke up with a weird thought in my head... I've never been told I'm beautiful. I mean a physical beauty. Of course during my life I had many people around me who were charmed by me and yes they told me I was beautiful, but it's not the same. People in general never told me that. And that's true! Let's be honest, I'm far from being handsome. I'm small, I'm a bit fat, I have a strange face with a big nose. As a teen I had so many problems with a taste, when I see my old pictures with these awful hairs and clothes I wanna die. What was I thinking about? And I was even fatter. 

But I've always had lots of admirers and I still have. I guess it's just because I'm cool ))))) People say I have a magical light inside and a devil in my eyes. I make people feel attracted to me even if it's not my intention. 

I could have dealt with this and live it up, but I have a huge desire to be sexy, adventurous, magnetizing and handsome. Maybe it's my biggest complex. Who knows... 

And I have many years ahead to try to fix it. I'm only 29! 

;-)

Ant #255. 1 year.

I just cannot believe it!
Today is the 1st anniversary of my living in Argentina.

Gosh, 1 year since I arrived to Ezeiza International Airport.
It was the most exciting flight in my entire life, I was brave, full of hopes and happy! I knew what I was doing and what for. I wanted to change my life and I have definitely done it!

So how was this year to me?
Shortly, it was everything!

I got every type of events/emotions/problems that a person can get.
Sometimes it was difficult, sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was bitter, sometimes it was crazy.
Like in a song, "it wasn't always perfect, but it wasn't always bad".

Do I think it was a mistake? I don't know.
Would I rather stay at home if I knew 1 year ago how will it be? Probably yes. Not because I regret of coming here. I just think it was kinda pointless. My life changed in many ways, but not the way I wanted it to change. I lost too much and got almost nothing. But still... I'm enjoying to be here. I love the country (not the government), I like people, I like the weather, I like the situation with tolerance and human rights, I like the food and wine here.

I've learnt some big lessons here:
Expectations -> disappointments.
Life is too short for bullshit.
Trust no bitches. Watch who is really worth your time, your care and your love. Don't waste your emotions, they can run out in any moment.
You can do anything if you believe in yourself. There are no limits!

So... It's time to thank some people.

At first I'd like to thank those amazing people who I've met here. Not calling names, you all know who I'm talking about. Thank you for being with me, for getting my ass to the parties, for calling and texting me when I feel bad, for asking me how am I, for teaching me bad words, for helping me in many ways, for introducing me to other good people. Thank you very much! XoXo

Then I'd like to thank those who left me. Thank you for making me stronger, for helping me to discover my inner power, for explaining me that I'm not that bad, there are much worse people, for teaching me how to separate real friends from fake friends. Thank you very much! XoXo

Also I'd like to thank my family and my friends from my "past life". Thank you for supporting me no matter what, for not forgetting me, for staying in touch through all this year, you are better than gold, better than any diamond in the universe, you're simply the best! Thank you very much and see you all soon! XoXo

And last, but not least I'd like to thank my best friend. Thank you for always being with me, for understanding, for the best advices you give me, for your amazing sense of humor and countless laugh I got with you. I'll never forget the moment we first met almost 5 years ago and all the great experience we had together. Thank you very much! XoXo Dior bless you! )))

Sincerely yours, el ruso.

ANT #100. RETROSPECTIVE.

Woo-hoo!
This is my 100th post!
That's amazing!


I don't wanna write anything serious here, just wanna take a look on all my previous "sh*t" and find some cool moments!


Enjoy! And thanx for reading me! ;-)

*   *   *

I'm f*cking smart, brave, independent man. I wanna learn my own lessons. I wanna do what I feel need to do. And I don't need their advices. 

(Ant #6)

*   *   *

Then I've matured. My habits have been changed. Vodka replaced gifts, friends replaced Santa Claus, clubs replaced poems. But I still thought it's a great time. 

(Ant #12)

*   *   *

Just to let you know...

Yes, I'm single, but my heart is occupied. So please leave me alone.

Thank you. 

(Ant #15)

*   *   *

I don't want you to think about me that I'm narcissistic thing. No, I'm not (I hope so!). I just really cannot find common language with 99% of my friends. And it makes me sad. 

(Ant #35)

*   *   *

P.S. Next time you'll be about to tell me "F*ck you", please, think twice. 

(Ant #36)

*   *   *

So now get the f*ck outta my life. Thank you. 

(Ant #40)

*   *   *

I just wanna get drunk, dance, flirt, talk to my friends, tempt a few new persons... Yeah, why not? 

(Ant #51)

*   *   *

I guess I looked too drunk, 'cause my dutch lady told me: "Hun, if you'll need a room for a couple hours, just tell me, I'll walk away!" LOL))))) It was really hard to explain that I'm not that kind of boy))) She was sure I'm a slut ))) I love her! ) 

(Ant #57)

*   *   *

1) Get my new passport.

2) Drink with my sister.

3) Drink with my best friend, meet his family.

4) Drink with my best friend from university.

5) Drink with my godsister.

5) Drink with my best female-friend in another city (3 hours long road is nothing for me). 

(Ant #62)

*   *   *

Would I like to revenge? Hell, yes! I know it's bad, but I can't fight this feeling. 

(Ant #71)

*   *   *

And you know what?

I'M HAPPY! 

(Ant #82)

*   *   *

I love sunny days when all the tempters are getting out of their cellars like zombies. They come out and look for someone's brain to eat it. Wherever you go they follow you and try to infect your heart with the worst illness ever... with "love". Just one kiss and you're a zombie as well.

Funny times! 

(Ant #85)

LOL))) I got a good laugh )

Ant #70. The fellow traveler effect.

Do you know what is "The fellow traveler effect"?
It's a term of psychology meaning the wish of a stranger to tell you his whole life.

Last night I met a gay-guy (the friend of my friend) who felt need to involve me into the story of his life.
When my friend fell asleep, we stayed together with this guy, and he immediately started confessing.
It was very strange. We have met the first and (probably) the last time in our lives, but nevertheless I've learned about him so many things. He was talking about his childhood and hometown, about his student life in a new city, about his first sexual experience, about his biggest love... And it was the most interesting to me.

He met this guy on a dating web-site, but it was a love from the first sight. This guy is a little bit older and has a great job, so the confidentiality was the only one and very serious requirement. And in the beginning everything was good, but then something went wrong... Their farewell was full of tears, pain and... love. But they had to leave...

And now he's alone. They both are alone.

I don't know how could I keep silence. I was looking into his eyes and listening to all these beautiful words which he was using to describe that guy and their relationships. Just amazing...

It was almost 8 am when he finished this story with words "Yeah, it was great, but so many time has gone. I'm back on a dating site, maybe I'll find someone else?!"

All I could say is "Look at you when you're saying about him! Even if you have renounced all hope to take him back, don't find someone just for revenge! You will never forgive yourself if you do that. Live today, but don't refuse all these bright memories! If I was in your shoes, I would prefer to stay alone forever. Because all the newbies will never compare to him. You tasted the best, don't agree on worse."

Ant #57. Worldwide clubber.

Have you ever travelled through the whole world just for one party?
I have )))

Stop laughing! ))) I'm not crazy and I'm not even rich!
I just cannot refuse my friends if they invite me. )))

Let's start this story from the beginning!
On aug 4th my friend from Holland, my beautiful dutch lady messaged me asking am I going to London for Madonna's B-day Party?! First minutes I was thinking she's joking, but then I realized she's not. )))
I said: "Well, it could be great for sure, but you know it's not so easy. Flights, hotels, pocket money."
She replied: "Honey, you can do that! Come on! I've found a baby sitter for J. [her daughter]. And S. [her husband] said YES! You cannot refuse now!"

In 10 minutes I've booked my flight to London and back )))

The trip was absolutely terrific! We were sharing the room with my dutch lady, so I wasn't a bankrupt )))
She helped me out to control my expenditures. My sweetheart )
I made an 80's outfit, the hair, accessories and I looked like Madonna on her first album cover. )
Sexy and I know it ))) LOL)))

Before the party we were looking for Madonna's house. It was hard, but we did it!

Madonna's house in London.

Not very bright, but with a lot of hidden cameras around. )))

The party itself was full of fun, laughs, flirts, meetings with old friends and making new ones.
I drank 2 huuuuge cups of cocktail, £5 each. I don't remember the name, but it was soooo tasty )))))

G-A-Y club, London.

I guess I looked too drunk, 'cause my dutch lady told me: "Hun, if you'll need a room for a couple hours, just tell me, I'll walk away!" LOL))))) It was really hard to explain that I'm not that kind of boy))) She was sure I'm a slut ))) I love her! )

Then we both had a great intimate afterparty in the lobby bar at our hotel. To me it was really pleasant, 'cause we finally could talk in a silence about everything, about our lives, jobs, friends and lovers, about our plans for the future. I love moments like this the most. This is what I do appreciate in friendship. Yeah.

Great memories!
See you all soon in Tel Aviv.
Mwah ;-)

Ant #50. St. Petersburg.

Yesterday I have bought the Golden Circle ticket for Madonna's concert in St. Petersburg and immediately have drowned in my memories.

Do you have a day or a time which you will never forget?
I have, and it's exactly her show in the Northern Capital in 2009, where I've been... Where we have been...
Who knew how these days will change my life? Forever!

Our first meeting... I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember all my feelings, I remember your eyes, your smile... The heartbeat.

This is so funny ))) I've just watched all my photos from St. Petersburg, you're standing with me everywhere! ) So nice... )

And the day X. Do you remember? When I said: "We need some raincoats! Who wanna go with me? You! Come on!" I'm not sure you were happy to walk with me looking for this plastic crap, but I think you were. ))) And then... Do you remember? I said: "I don't know how about you, but I wanna go home and sleep at least 1 hour or I'll die!" Hahahahaaaa))) I'm such a bitch, I know )

And then, when we came home and laid down on the bed trying to fall asleep. Did you fall asleep? I didn't. I couldn't. I felt something... something burning inside of me... I couldn't resist it.

Your taste is still on my lips...

After 3 years... Let's try again?

Ant #32. Body heat.

I never liked to sleep having embraced!
Someone told me "You don't like it and you won't like it untill you find a person who's made for you".
Now I realize this is so true. I've totally changed my mind.

I love it!

It's so amazing feeling when someone's body is next to mine, when I can feel a hand on my breast or I can put my hand on someone's breast, when I can feel the heat in every piece of my body.

I remember the first time when I felt it.
It was... like wow, like an angel touched my soul... my angel. I couldn't sleep at all, I even couldn't breath. I thought my heart was beating million times per a minute.

I would give my all to feel it again...

Ant #31. Madonna.

I wanna say something about Madonna.

I guess there's no need to explain that I'm not talking about mother of Jesus.
Everyone knows I'm talking about the most famous, talented and inspiring woman in the world of all time!

I don't wanna tell you how cool she is, how many albums she sold out, how many awards she won. You all know it. I wanna say what she means to me.

Let me speak...

All my life I've been looking at her and wondering how she re-invents herself, how she grows up, how she's learning every day, how she's getting better staying Madonna.
I've learned from her, from the best, that my life is a long (but at the same time short) journey to the sky. I always have to think what I'm doing or what I'm speaking, because I have millions chances to make a mistake, and who knows will I have a single chance to correct it? Every step can change my life forever and there won't be a way back. I have to be responsible for everything happening in my life!

And during my journey she's always with me! I can find so many different colours in her art for every kind of my mood. Even if I'm happy or if I'm upset, I can play her song and I'll get better.

Only God knows how many friends and lovers will go away, but YOU will never betray me!
Thank you, M.
Long live the Queen!

Ant #26. Something to remember.

It's strange that I started to forget you so quickly. Believe me or not, I don't want to forget.

I want to remember forever how I was touching your face, how we were kissing under bridges, how sportsmen were looking at us...

But damn it... My heart was bleeding too long and now it turned into the stone.