Ant #324. Kids.

All of my friends probably heard from me that I hate kids. And of course when I say this, I don't mean it.

When I was 6 years old, my sister bore a daughter. But I didn't become her uncle, instead I became her father. My sister got divorced and never had any support from ex husband. She worked a lot, so did our parents, so I was with my niece 24/7. I did all those things that fathers always do, while I was a kid myself.

It was a hard time for me, since that moment I used to say I hate kids and I don't want to have my own one coz I already have one (my niece), but of course it's not true! In Russia we say that "kids are flowers of a life". I cannot say any better!

Why am I saying all these?

I've just known that my lovely friend, amazing argentinian girl that I once met in Tel Aviv, has got a second child, a beautiful boy called Noam. And I'm so happy for her that I don't even have proper words to describe my excitement! She's definitely one of the greatest moms on Earth and the boy was very lucky to be born by her.

OMG! I'm so emotional right now! ^_^

Ant #317. Online dating.

If I wrote this post 2 years ago, there would be an absolutely different text. Here it comes...

I was always against it. I found it pretty desperate. But now I totally changed my mind (even tho I don't use it for myself). We live in the 21st century. There was no mobile phones just a few years ago. The ways we communicate have changed forever. So why not? Let people meet online! There's nothing disturbing to me, except of one thing...

Youngsters nowadays are so into modern technologies. I find it absolutely great, but along with communication ways, people's attitude changed as well.
Once again it's absolutely OK now to meet someone online, talk anything to a stranger, send nudes before even saying hello. As long as it doesn't hurt people, it's absolutely legal.

My point is there's no miracle anymore. Maybe, I'm too old-school, but I seriously miss those days when you had to date a person to know something about him, I miss this magic (and shaking hands) when you undress a person for the first time.

I tried a couple of web-sites when I was younger, I even tried Tinder a few months ago. It never worked on me. I still prefer meeting people in a bar or via mutual friends.

Ant #312. April Fools Day.

Every year I make the same joke about getting into relationship and every year the drama starts!
No details because I don't wanna shade anybody, but trust me I pissed myself with laughter at some people ))))))


I wanna say a big thanx to my dear friend Lu-Lu who had balls and wasn't ashamed to participate!

Here he is! 
My one day boyfriend! >>>

Follow him on Instagram!

https://instagram.com/luenletras/

He's very cute and such a sweetheart! <3 

And to all of you...

Happy April Fools Day! ;-)

Ant #304. Living For Love.

I read many comments about new Madonna's video, all the people seem to love it, but some of them were a lil bit confused with its aggression and violence. They said that the song itself is so bright, it's about getting stronger and not being disappointed, it's about believing in love.

Hard to disagree, but...

I feel something different. Yeah, it's a dance track, but lyrics sound bitter to me. I'm not sure if it's about interpretation or life experience. I guess anyone who was betrayed and thrown out even once, knows how painful it can be. You can survive, you can learn this lesson, you can get stronger and blah blah blah, but every break-up leaves a scar on your heart, if you have it and you truly loved. And it's good if you staying above the situation and not willing to revenge, but come on, I'd never believe that someone felt fine after all this shit.

Madonna sings, "I can forgive, but I will never forget." And you keep saying that the song is bright?

Ant #300. Mountain top you cannot get.

I won't be doing retrospectives any longer as I did every 100th post.
Let's better talk about something more interesting.

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with one of my best friends. About love, of course.
She asked me how many times I've been refused in my life. I replied that just once. And she said that I shouldn't be worried about possibility to die alone. Well, yeah, maybe... But it made me think about another thing.

Imagine that you perfectly play chess and lost the championship in the final. Or you do yoga and can strike any pose except of the only one. Or maybe you're the best alpinist and the only mountain top you cannot get is Everest.

And then imagine that you play chess so-so, don't do yoga at all and the only time you were in mountains was in your high school with your teacher of geography.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know how it feels to hear NO. I've got everyone I wanted... Well, almost...
I've been refused once, but I still cannot forget it. It follows me. And I guess that it's even worse than if it was kinda usual for me.

Ant #292. Friendzone.

I never talked about "friendzone" coz I never was in this situation, I mean I never was friendzoned.
And this theme is kinda new to me.

We all have been rejected, but it's always pretty clear. You can just go f*ck yourself. But how to react on this 21 century invent, on being "friendzoned"?

Weird, isn't it?

One thing is when one tells another one that they can be great friends.
Another thing is when one keeps pulling and pushing another one, playing with another one's feelings, giving hopes and then destroying them. It's just cruel.

I respect honesty!
Make things clear. Immediately. The more you play, the worse will be the pain.

It hurts just a little when you're being told you're not loved, and it hurts way more when you see the signs that something is possible and then you got your heart broken.

The thing that I don't understand is how those who are being friendzoned can stay in touch with their "lovers", having him so close and so far away at the same time. Face the truth, nothing's gonna happen. Sorry.

Ant #287. Brüderschaft.

To drink "na broodershaft" with someone is to consolidate friendship with a special ceremony when two of participants at the same time drink their glasses, for example with wine, with the hands bound in elbows. Then, most often, kiss. During the process it is necessary to look each other in eyes. From this moment participants are considered as good friends and have to address to each other on "you". Ritual comes from medieval Europe when the similar ceremony served as the proof of good intentions of the audience at a table.

According to another version the tradition to drink "na broodershaft" practiced between lovers. If a  drink of one of lovers was poisoned by another, with a kiss the poison was transferred back to the poisoner. Thus, the kiss served as the proof that drink of any of lovers wasn't poisoned.

On Wikipedia in russian: https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C1%F0%F3%E4%E5%F0%F8%E0%F4%F2

It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, straight or gay, married or single, this russian tradition is for everyone in any combination!
So if you drink "na broodershaft" with someone I strongly recommend you to buy a russian vodka at first!
Have a nice drink!
^_^

Ant #286. Random thoughts.

You: - Love is not enough for a good relationship.
Me: - If you say this, I guess that love is not necessary for you at all.

*  *  *  *  *

The only sad thing in living alone is that one day you die and rot before someone finds you.

*  *  *  *  *

What the point of celebrating anniversaries of your relationships? Just be together. That's it. Very simple.

*  *  *  *  *

First they tell you you're so beautiful and they don't wanna be friendzoned, then they totally forget about your existence. Wtf?

*  *  *  *  *

After all these leaks of celebrities photos I wonder... How many of us have "nudes" in our phones?

*  *  *  *  *

I'd like to have some magical power.

Ant #277. Homosexuality and religion.

I've been surfing through different pages and have seen a gay man with a poster "I'm gay, I'm christian and I love God."
And it's not the first time I see something like this. How many times I heard gay people saying "God said "Love your neighbor as yourself!"
Countless...

And I thought... What the actual f*ck?
Why do gay people defend themselves trying to show their connection with God pointing fingers at what he "said", even if they are atheists?

I'm sorry, is it the only possibility for me to excuse my existence? But what if I don't believe in God along with billions people? Am I supposed to just die?

The history shows us so many examples of existence of homosexuality through all the centuries.
Science has proved that there's no even one kind of animals on Earth with no homosexual ones.

But we still MUST take an existence of God by default and excuse our existence.
Why don't I see a single believer with a poster "I believe in God, I'm gay and I love scientists!"???
Because I cannot choose my own morality of life, I must live according to what I'm being told by people who follow try to follow the rules of a book written thousands years ago by someone with a huge imagination. (I fixed "follow" with "try to follow" because they actually don't, they failed a lot.)

I'm fed up with it.
I exist.
Deal with it or f*ck off!

Ant #275. Make love or make sex?

Typical conversation about my personal life.
Let's make it as Q&A and make things clear.

Q: When did you have sex for the last time?
A: Long time ago.

Q: Why?
A: Because I'm single.

Q: But don't you wanna have sex?
A: I want, I love sex.

Q: So why don't you find somebody?
A: Because I don't want "somebody", I want the one.

Q: But we cannot live without sex.
A: Depends on what you call sex.

Q: Sex is a connection of two (or more) persons.
A: To me, sex is a connection of two (and only two) souls. Otherwise it's a masturbation via other's bodies. Sex must be a continuation of relationship. Like when your partner touches you and you all start shaking. And I prefer to call it "love". I always say that sex only can be wonderful with a person that you're dying to be together even with no sex.

Ant #273. Russian heart.

Argentinians told me many times that russians are kinda cold people.

I responsibly say that it's false!

Maybe we don't show our feelings to much on public, but when we are alone in a private place we are the hottest on Earth. We open up and give everything we have, all our love and passion. We know how to set up fire between two persons. In love, we are much more dedicated than anyone else. We can fight for love till the last breath. We never give up! 

We put the spiritual above the material. We know how hard is to find a true love and we always worship it.

Whoever reads this... If one day you find a russian partner, hug him and never let him go!

Ant #270. Israel vs. Palestine.

I'm sorry, but I'm tired of this shit.
Last few days I was watching many people reposting pictures of killed people in Palestine. You can say that you cannot stand it when people die, and I totally agree. But before blaming Israel you must learn at least something about this conflict.

I have a niece and a few relatives who live there. I also have many friends there. Moreover, I've been there a few times. So may I say something? Thank you!

Have you ever heard about HAMAS organization and that they are not calm until Israel is destroyed?
Did you know that all the countries around Israel support Palestine in this war giving them weapons, food and other humanitarian assistance?
Did you know that meanwhile Palestine is making plans about destroying Israel, israeli government is giving them electricity, water, food, medicines etc FOR FREE?

Now about the war itself...
Past few days Palestine sent to Israel at least 250 bombs and rockets. And only because israeli army is one of the best armies in the world they could avoid victims. Anybody of you posted something about this? Or about people having 15 seconds to find a shelter? You don't know how it feels when your niece messages you that she's all right, she found a good shelter and sitting there along with other people and it seems like explosions are really close to the place she lives.

Then Israeli army looks for rocket installations on palestinian territory to destroy them. But the point is that Hamas terrorists make them on the roofs of hospitals or on the backyards of schools or inside living districts. Coz the only thing they want is that more their own people die so they can show them on TV and say how terrible Israel is.

But even though before israeli army starts shooting, they send a few planes which drop above Palestine information lists with time and places where Hamas will be attacked, so peaceful people could find a shelter. But they don't give a damn, they need pictures.

One man said... "If palestinians loved their children more than they hate israeli ones, this war would stop a long time ago."

There are lots of palestinian arabs living in Israel and not being killed, discriminated or whatever. They live a good life, they work, build families, go to the same places where jewish people go.

Hamas "protect" palestinians from "horrible" israeli army and palestinians die. But where no one protects them (in Israel), nobody dies. Isn't it strange?

Thanx for attention!

Ant #266. Challenge accepted.

Yesterday I talked to a friend (female) who is deeply in love with one guy.

She was like "Oh, gosh, sometimes it's so hard to open your heart to someone, it burns inside, but when I'm in front of him I barely can say a word!"
I said "Oh, come on! Where are your balls? Tell him everything you feel and let's see!"

She:
- Are you f*cking insane? I'll die immediately!
Me:
- Don't be a pussy! It's not that hard. Everyone does it and no one died yet. )))
She:
- Do you love someone?
Me:
- Mmmm... Maybe! Why are you asking me?
She:
- Let's make a deal! I open up to him, and you open up to someone you love?!
Me:
- DEAL! >_<

I have 2 more days to do that! Hahahaaaa)))

Ant #264. Friendship...

"Friendship is always a love story. Besides, I even put friendship above love! I have an internal cult of friendship because friendship is disinterested, there is no full possession and there is a space which you concede to another person. For me friendship is the highest form of love, the highest degree of love. That's why it's a love story, of course, with no any self-interest of gender, any sexual manipulation... "

Said by one russian screenwriter and director, the woman that I respect a lot.

Ant #259. Hug.

I need a hug.

Like this...

Ant #256. Let's talk about relationships.

Yes, again )))
I've found an interesting article and I'd like to share it with my readers.
I still don't know if I agree or disagree, but it has a point definitely.
Here is my translation.

The letter of one skilled woman to young girls.

Relationships that can be long shouldn't be complicated be default. How long a person can fuck his own brain and other's brains? Half a year, one year, in the worst case a couple of years. Then finally he fucks everyone so badly that audience leaves him alone in a concert hall under the heat of the lights.

All these so-called complicated relationships, all these comes-goes, all these talks about high feelings - it's just because you have too much free time.  They are WRONG relationships. Seriously. It seems like you wanna buy Ferrari, but you only have enough money for buying Ford in a basic complectation. And you're gonna annoy everyone around you telling them about how great is Ferrari. You turn your suffering into a fetish and you will never think that the only thing you need is a nice car that can put you from point A to point B.

Relationships must be simple. It doesn't matter which degree your partner has, how many languages he speaks, how many women he had before, it only matters if you feel comfortable with him. If he drives you into depression, if you feel with him as bad as without him, if he fucks your brain instead of fucking your body, it's not gonna work. Go away. And you'll understand a lil bit later if you ever loved him.

Love is indescribable feeling. Sometimes we take passion, habit, respect as love, but it's not. From "complicated" relationships you don't get anything except of a headache. 

Once again, relationships must be simple. Because with this person you're gonna live together, bear children, build a house, make plans, visit relatives, etc. And if you think you can avoid all this crap, you're wrong.

How it happens usually? At first we need a tall muscular beautiful rich sexy romantic son of a bitch, but many many years later we understand - we ALL understand - that we just need a man who will always be near, no matter what. Not sometimes, but always! That's why reliability is a very important quality.

He is to help you in your most difficult times of your life. Responsibility is also very important.

You will want to share with him your happiness and sadness, your dreams and fears. Compassion is so damn important. 

You will learn his as yourself, you will understand each other with no words, but you will still argue sometimes because he is not you, you're not him. Tolerance is a "must-have".

And you will concede each other, step by step removing your single-life habits. Flexibility is very very important.

And you will make important decisions, together and separately, decisions which are quite capable to change your current life. Trust - the most important.

Think about it. When you were 20, what did you want? It all doesn't matter! Who cares if he's beautiful of not, slim or not so, rich or poor. The only thing you need is understanding that you would go through anything with him. And it feels muuuuuch worse when he's not around. 

And in 20 years you'll see at yourself taking care of him just because he sneezed once. And you'll stop thinking about where are you going coz you'll be in a place you need. Love is unpredictable. Ever.

And all these "complicated" relationships... Go to macrame courses or help to orphans. Leave you brain alone. It has so many things to do.

Ant #246. Opposite.

Good - bad.
Saint - sinner.
Big - small.
Light - dark.
Life - death.
Love - ...

What is the opposite of love actually?
Hate? Maybe...
But if think about the best and the worst things in a life, love is definitely the best, but is hate really the worst? At least it's an emotion. The worst thing is when there are no emotions at all.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

Ant #242. I'm just going to leave this here.

Ant 234. Throwback.

I spent a wonderful awesome fun weekend in a small city in the center of Argentina.
With lots of friends who I haven't seen for a long time, a pair of them lives in Israel, others not in BsAs, so we don't see each other frequently.

Everything was perfect except of one thing: the city itself.

It's the city where I went with "him" for the first time.
Such a throwback.
Wherever I went, everything reminded me about him.
Here we ate ice-cream, here we had some rest, here we took a picture while I was grabbing his balls...

If I knew it will be so painful, I wouldn't go there.
It's hard to smile when you feel like crying.

Ant #225. Caution or paranoia?

Every time someone good shows an interest in me, treats me well, respect me etc., I feel like running away / disappearing / dying.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

I destroy my own happiness.