Ant #274. The past.

Weird.
All the people say that they wouldn't like to change anything in their past.
They say that this is how they live and they don't regret on anything.

Ok, good. But...
We all do mistakes. We accept them, deal with them and they leave behind.
But wouldn't you like to remove the shit out of your life?
Wouldn't you like to undo what you've done or say what you haven't said?

I swear I'd like to change a lot in my past. And who knows, maybe my life would be different. Or maybe it would be the same, but I wouldn't feel sorry.

Ant #255. 1 year.

I just cannot believe it!
Today is the 1st anniversary of my living in Argentina.

Gosh, 1 year since I arrived to Ezeiza International Airport.
It was the most exciting flight in my entire life, I was brave, full of hopes and happy! I knew what I was doing and what for. I wanted to change my life and I have definitely done it!

So how was this year to me?
Shortly, it was everything!

I got every type of events/emotions/problems that a person can get.
Sometimes it was difficult, sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was bitter, sometimes it was crazy.
Like in a song, "it wasn't always perfect, but it wasn't always bad".

Do I think it was a mistake? I don't know.
Would I rather stay at home if I knew 1 year ago how will it be? Probably yes. Not because I regret of coming here. I just think it was kinda pointless. My life changed in many ways, but not the way I wanted it to change. I lost too much and got almost nothing. But still... I'm enjoying to be here. I love the country (not the government), I like people, I like the weather, I like the situation with tolerance and human rights, I like the food and wine here.

I've learnt some big lessons here:
Expectations -> disappointments.
Life is too short for bullshit.
Trust no bitches. Watch who is really worth your time, your care and your love. Don't waste your emotions, they can run out in any moment.
You can do anything if you believe in yourself. There are no limits!

So... It's time to thank some people.

At first I'd like to thank those amazing people who I've met here. Not calling names, you all know who I'm talking about. Thank you for being with me, for getting my ass to the parties, for calling and texting me when I feel bad, for asking me how am I, for teaching me bad words, for helping me in many ways, for introducing me to other good people. Thank you very much! XoXo

Then I'd like to thank those who left me. Thank you for making me stronger, for helping me to discover my inner power, for explaining me that I'm not that bad, there are much worse people, for teaching me how to separate real friends from fake friends. Thank you very much! XoXo

Also I'd like to thank my family and my friends from my "past life". Thank you for supporting me no matter what, for not forgetting me, for staying in touch through all this year, you are better than gold, better than any diamond in the universe, you're simply the best! Thank you very much and see you all soon! XoXo

And last, but not least I'd like to thank my best friend. Thank you for always being with me, for understanding, for the best advices you give me, for your amazing sense of humor and countless laugh I got with you. I'll never forget the moment we first met almost 5 years ago and all the great experience we had together. Thank you very much! XoXo Dior bless you! )))

Sincerely yours, el ruso.

Ant #237. Sex dreams.

Ooh-la-la!
What I was dreaming about the last night!
My gooodness!!! ^_^

I could be the best xxx director EVER! Seriously!
My imagination is perfectly sick for this! XD

No details, but trust me it was damn hot!
I was waking up all night coz I could keep lying comfortably, if u know what I mean! >_<

Ant #231. To-do-in-2014 List.

OK!
In 2014 I want:

• Visit Brazil,
• Visit Peru,
• Visit Mexico,
• Visit the North of Argentina,
• Go to Russia to see my family,
• Find a new interesting job,
• Start studying (doesn't matter what),
• Pass driving licence exams,
• Save at least US$5000 for a future Madonna's tour,
• Be happy and loved.

Let's see what I'll make real till 31 of december of 2014!

;-) 

Ant #227. Merry Xmas! Vol. 1

Vol. 1, because there will be vol. 2 on January 7th, when Xmas will come to orthodox christian Russia!

Sooooo...

For all those who celebrate Xmas today!

I wish you all the best! 

Find the brightest star on the sky and make a wish and I promise it will come true!

Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho! XD

Ant #215. Benjamin Vicuña.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh, Benjamin! <3

I just wanna leave these pictures here!

One of the sexiest men alive! ^_^

Ant #208. Montevideo.

I can't believe it's happening!
Yes, I'm going to Uruguay!
FINALLY!!!

Probably you don't know how many times I tried to visit this country, but the destiny was against me)))

In 2009, in november, I came to Argentina for the very first time, for 2 weeks. The plan was to see a couple of places here and then go to Montevideo. But the problem was that I needed visa. I went to the embassy of Uruguay 2 months before the trip and started the application. They promissed that it had to take 2 weeks, but at the departure day my visa still wasn't ready! So I canceled my plan to visit this country. Instead of this I went to Iguazu waterfalls! And it was awesome, to be honest!

In 2012, in december, I came to South America again to see Madonna's shows. The plan was to stay in Buenos Aires for 2 shows, then go to Santiago (Chile) for 1 show, come back to Argentina (to Cordoba) for the last show and then I supposed to have a few free days and I wanted to go to Montevideo. That time luckily I didn't need to get visa. But in Chile my credit card was stolen and I wasn't able to pay my trip to Uruguay. So I canceled my trip to Uruguay again.

Now, after 4 years, nothing can stop me! Well, only if our boat will drown in Rio de la Plata))))
But I'm sure it won't happen and my dream finally will come true!

Ant #196. "I kissed a boy and I liked it".

Last night I dreamt of kissing you...
Such a good, cherry kiss!
But why the hell did it happen?

No more details, sorry!

Ant #168. New life.

At first I wanted to write a huge post about my upcoming new life, about my expectations etc.
But then I thought it will be so silly.

So... Just to let you know... MY NEW LIFE STARTS TOMORROW!!! ;-)))
But it doesn't mean that I'm leaving my past behind.
My family, my old friends... You will always have a place in my heart! Never forget it!
And be sure that the doors of my new home will be open for you!

Forever yours, Just me.

P.S. See YOU at the airport, babe! :-*

Ant #148. NYC.

Gosh, I cannot believe it.
3 years since I first thought I had to visit New York and I've finally booked the flight.
To say I'm excited is to say nothing! ^_^

New York

My flight is in 10 days and I'm going there just for a weekend, so I don't have a time for a bullsh*t!

Allright, New Yorkers, I need your advices!

Where to go?
What to see?
Which clubs to visit?
Shopping?
Sightseeing?
Madonna places?

Aaaaaarrrrgh! I cannot put thoughts together!

That's what my friend told me:
"Times Square..... Central Park..... The 9-11 memorial, .... some museums, there are many cool museums..... nightlife.... some clubs......"

Did he miss something else?

Ah, and accommodation!
Anybody knows some hotels (not hoStels) at Manhatten with a good prices?

And the last questions, New Yorkers!
Who wanna meet me?

Goooooooooshhhhhh!!!  ^_^

Ant #136. Black and white.

BLACK: My stalker has come back.

WHITE: In 10 days I'm going to South America.

BLACK: I think I've failed my exam today.

WHITE: My laptop is fixed after "epic flooding".

BLACK: I'm on a diet and haven't eaten any sweet more than a week.

WHITE: My New Year trip is confirmed, managed and booked! I'm going to Georgia. (to be announced soon!).

BLACK: I spent all my money and cannot pay for my institute. I'm a bankrupt.

WHITE:  It's snowing! ^_^

                                                                                                                                  

We all have black and white stripes in our lives.
And that's annoying!
I wish we all have only bright colorful stripes!

Ant #123. When dreams come true...

The best way to live is to dream!
The best way to live brightly is to make dreams come true!

After 3 years I'm going to South America once again!

50 hours in the sky.
10's of friends.
5 cities.
4 MDNA shows.
2 new counties.
1 QUEEN OF POP.




Ah, Buenos Aires! The city that I love the most!
It's so good to come back!
You make me feel so happy and free.
What will you bring me for this time? More parties? More fun? More "last-night troubles"? )))
Or maybe more love and feeling "special"?

Just "give me all your luvin'", Buenos Aires!
I wanna live dangerously! ;-)

Buenos Aires

Ant #117. Money.

Money... Money, money, money...
That's what I need right now!

After ending my summer trip, I feel so broken. Not because I'm tired or exhausted, but because I want more. I'm dying to go to South America on december, but now it seems absolutely impossible.

Here is my "To Do / Pay For" list:

1) Flight to my hometown, on sept/oct.
2) Birthday gift for my mom.
3) New shoes, jeans, a few other clothes.
4) Birthday gift for my bff.
+
5) Flight to South America and back on december.
6) A few local flights.
7) Hotels.
8) 4 tickets for Madonna's shows (it's a huuuge money).

And I'm not talking about food and my apartment rent.
Doh! Why is the world so unfair? WHYYYYYYY?

XD

Ant #111. How I met Madonna )))

Aug 6, 2012, Moscow.
Hard Candy Fitness opening.

I came to the place at 3 pm. There were tens of fans.

Soon we got "HCF" wristbands and prepared for Madonna, but too early.

Her manager Guy Oseary came to us just about 7 pm. He saw me, got closer and told me that she will come in a few minutes, but first she wanna look around and then she will come out to fans. He asked me to translate and tell other fans this information. He also told people arond me that I'm his representative in the crowd. Thank you, Guy O., I got a few more haters! )))))

Finally Madonna and Guy came out together, he pointed a finger at me, she recognized me, smiled and went directly to me! Not to anybody else, but TO ME!!!

***

This is the 1st Madonna's autograph in my life! )))

Ant #83. Flowers.

You'll always be a part of me,
What you love can never let you go.
You'll always be inside of me,
Like a flower you grow...

Today I've been in botanical garden. It's a magical place!

Flowers, trees, butterflies, birds, moms with their children... And the smell! Amazing smell of spring!

I wish to have my own home with windows on a garden. I would be going there every morning with a blanket, a cup of tea and my favorite book, laying down and reading it. And leaves would be falling down and covering pages of a book. And a pollen of flowers would be mixing up with a taste of tea. And ants would be running across my blanket.

It would be so nice!

I'm listening to the song now, that you barely have heard. It's called "Like a flower", but it's about love!

Ant #43. Night dream.

Country house, lake, my friends, me and... my ex, swimming and not talking to me...
I'm trying, but getting the silence and reproaching sights in response.
I'm coming closer and... nothing, like I don't exist.


Then I'm inside of house, looking for something, for someone, for me. The house looks like a labyrinth, the labyrinth of my mind. I open all the doors and find strange things there, broken dreams, destroyed plans, forgotten people. But I'm still looking for...


- You look so wet after the lake. Wanna take a shower?
- Yes, please.
- That door. Towel?
- ... *taking a towel*
- We need to talk. May I go with you?
- As you wish.


I stand a back to a wall, cannot see anything because of the shower curtain. I'm listening to water, but I'm hoping to listen to words. I'm coming and opening the curtain. We're looking at each other, eyes to eyes... and there's no need to talk... just kiss.


My subconsciousness is killing me!

Ant #32. Body heat.

I never liked to sleep having embraced!
Someone told me "You don't like it and you won't like it untill you find a person who's made for you".
Now I realize this is so true. I've totally changed my mind.

I love it!

It's so amazing feeling when someone's body is next to mine, when I can feel a hand on my breast or I can put my hand on someone's breast, when I can feel the heat in every piece of my body.

I remember the first time when I felt it.
It was... like wow, like an angel touched my soul... my angel. I couldn't sleep at all, I even couldn't breath. I thought my heart was beating million times per a minute.

I would give my all to feel it again...

Ant #27. Fear of sleeping.

From recent time I'm afraid to fall asleep, and I don't know what to do with it.
My subconsciousness shows me pictures killing me. Oh, this is so tough.

Every night I close my eyes I'm thinking about what will I see for this time: my broken dreams or my future full of darkness, my ex or my loneliness, the sky or the hell.

It's like a russian roulette: you never know, will you wake up happy or will you dream to never wake up again?

What a silly game.