Ant #326. BEST and WORST of 2015.

Hi, bitches! Let's do it again! ;-)


1) Best pop song.

It wasn't a great year in music but there were some good songs.

Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do (From "Fifty Shades Of Grey")
Ciara - Dance Like We're Making Love
John Newman - Come And Get It
Mylène Farmer & Sting - Stolen Car

but there's only one winner and it's...

Madonna - Ghosttown 

2) Best pop album.

A few really nice albums were released...
Madonna - Rebel Heart
Marina and The Diamonds - FROOT
Melanie Martinez - Cry Baby

but the winner is...

Mylène Farmer - Interstellaires

3) Best dance song.

Dance music was way better this year than pop music and my dance hall anthem was definitely...

Major Lazer - Lean On (feat. MØ & DJ Snake)

4) Best dance album.

I loved Kylie + Garibay collaboration, Robyn did well this year too, but I was really impressed with my working girl's long play!

Little Boots - Working Girl

5) Best r'n'b/rap song.

Congrats to Rihanna - Bitch Better Have My Money

6) Best r'n'b/rap album.

Nothing really impressed me this year ))) Again... ;-)


7) Best live performance.

Bow down to Katy Perry's Super Bowl performance! She did great!

8) Tour of the year. 

There's no competition when the Queen is on tour... Congrats to Madonna's Rebel Heart Tour.

9) Best new artist.

Not really new artist but I discovered this group just in this year.

Say Lou Lou

Their album Lucid Dreaming is just amazing! <3

10) Video of the year.

Hard to choose one... Really... So many great videos were release:

Adele - Hello
Madonna - Living For Love
Mylene Farmer - City Of Love
Major Lazer - Lean On (feat. MØ & DJ Snake)

but the best one is...

Kygo - Stole The Show feat. Parson James

11) Artist of the year.

I might be very subjective but how I name "artist of the year" anybody but Madonna? Good album, cool videos, amazing tour, lots of live performances! It's been a year of the Queen of Pop for sure!

And some anti-awards! ^_^

1) Worst artist.

Lana Del Rey... I don't understand how people can stand her!

2) Worst video.

Sorry Brit, you shouldn't do this...

3) Fail of the year.

Nobody else could literally fail like Madonna at Brit Awards! Congrats, babe! ;-)

4) LOL of the year.

Nothing can compare to the epic Lenny Kravitz's penisgate!

Thank you! Good night!

See you next year!
★★★

Ant #325. Months of silence.

It's been a long time since I posted for the last time.
The reason is simple... I was on tour... Actually not me, Madonna was on tour (and still is) and I was following her all over Europe.

Cologne, Germany -> Prague, Czech Republic -> Berlin, Germany -> Stockholm,  Sweden -> Herning, Denmark -> Turin, Italy -> Barcelona, Spain -> Antwerp, Belgium -> Mannheim, Germany -> Zurich, Switzerland... 16 shows in 3 weeks...

+ touristic visits to Ljubljana, Slovenia -> Budapest, Hungary -> Bratislava, Slovakia and lots of time spent in Vienna, Austria.

It was the longest trip of my life. I missed Buenos Aires a lot. Finally I'm back home! ^_^

Actually I wanted to write an end-of-the-year post, but then I thought... What can I write about? There are million of crazy stories happened to me during this trip, but whatever I reveal someone will get in trouble ))) LOL)

I'll think of it and will post something, not sure what it will be. I have some days left! :-P

Ant #324. Kids.

All of my friends probably heard from me that I hate kids. And of course when I say this, I don't mean it.

When I was 6 years old, my sister bore a daughter. But I didn't become her uncle, instead I became her father. My sister got divorced and never had any support from ex husband. She worked a lot, so did our parents, so I was with my niece 24/7. I did all those things that fathers always do, while I was a kid myself.

It was a hard time for me, since that moment I used to say I hate kids and I don't want to have my own one coz I already have one (my niece), but of course it's not true! In Russia we say that "kids are flowers of a life". I cannot say any better!

Why am I saying all these?

I've just known that my lovely friend, amazing argentinian girl that I once met in Tel Aviv, has got a second child, a beautiful boy called Noam. And I'm so happy for her that I don't even have proper words to describe my excitement! She's definitely one of the greatest moms on Earth and the boy was very lucky to be born by her.

OMG! I'm so emotional right now! ^_^

Ant #323. Another one social experiment.

Watch this video, please...

Homeless Father Vs. Homeless Drug Addict Social Experiment
I'm shocked. I couldn't believe THISCheck this out ➡️ http://goo.gl/Kw0WIK
Posted by Bryan Silva on Wednesday, July 29, 2015

So what we could see? Homeless Father Vs. Homeless Drug Addict. And most people gave money to a junkie. Do you think it's unfair, bad decision, lack of morals? I DON'T! And let me explain why... 

In all the modern countries people understood many many time ago that if they just ignore drug addicts, they are gonna start killing. I'm not exaggerating! Even though nobody like them, nobody feels like helping them, people know that junkies cannot live a normal life, they cannot work to pay their drugs, so they start robbing or even killing other people. That's why normal citizens prefer to share some money with marginals to prevent crimes. Obviously no one wants to give away money to those who don't deserve them but there's no other choice.

And what's about a young normal guy that have 2 hands and 2 legs, that is a good looking, that has a beautiful daughter, that sitting on the street during the day instead of doing something? There's no way people help this guy! NO WAY! Society doesn't support laziness. He must work. And ignoring him people are pushing him to put himself together and sort his fucking life out. I find it a good motivation.

Ant #322. Standing for Kelly Osbourne.

Once she said this...

she got this...

OMG! Such a drama with what Kelly Osbourne said...

Some people are sooo obsessed with being politically correct that they don't even wanna face the truth.

Does it really surprise anyone that in any country the most of immigrants (I'm not talking about british expats signing a 3 years long contract in a 3rd world country) do the dirties unprestigious less paying jobs? Seriously, does anybody know a common mexican that moved to U.S. and immediately became a top manager?

Kelly said what we all know but have no balls to say!
Besides, she's really pro-immigrants coz instead of claiming them to go away (like all conservatives do) she knows that any modern country needs them.

Open up your eyes! Who's cleaning your street? An immigrant. Who's cleaning your home? An immigrant. Who's sitting with your children? An immigrant.

I don't give a fuck about being politically correct, but I DO give a fuck about saying the truth.
So take the sand out of your vaginas and finally start using your brains.
Doh.

Ant #321. HIV+ people.

I have a friend (in Moscow) who is HIV positive. He doesn't know that I know it, but I know (don't ask me how).

I saw this video and I remembered about him. I remembered how he never let me to hug him, how he never let me to drink from his cup, how he refused to sleep at my home because he thought he had to force me to clean the sheets after him and didn't know how.

I left Russia more than 2 years ago, but he never opened up to me or to any of our friends. And I understand why. For many HIV+ people it's even more difficult than for gays to come out from closet. There are so many prejudges in a society about this desease.

I feel sorry that I couldn't tell him some words of support... I didn't want him to feel scared or uncomfortable. If he wanted to keep it in secret, I had to respect his decision.

I just wanna tell anybody who has HIV+ friends. They aren't leprous. They are still the same people that you once knew!

Ant #320. Rain.

I remember an old russian song where the lyrics say "Nature doesn't have a bad weather. Any weather is good."

I don't know. I have a friend who says that any weather is a nightmare, it's always too hot or too cold or too this or too that. She's funny )

I think I'm alright with a heat and frizzing cold, but I can't stand the rain. It ruins everything, plans, willings to go out, but first of all it ruins a good mood.

In Russia we say that rain is nothing but a sky crying. I think it's a beautiful metaphor. And that's exactly how I feel. I watch the water knits on my window and feel tears rolling down over my soul. I wanna get back to my bed and cover myself with a blanket. Too bad that nobody's bringing me a cup of a hot coffee... ☕

Current mood song...

Ant #319. Disconnection.

I talked to one refugee from Russia today. She was like "OMG! There happens this, there happens that", and I found myself thinking that I don't actually care. Then I tried to remember when I read russian news the last time, and I couldn't.

It feels so strange to me. To be honest, I don't know if it's good or not. It's just a fact: I've disconnected.

Ant #318. Nudes.

I swear I could open a gallery with all the pics of dicks they sent to me...

I don't remember since when people started to send nudes to each other?! It wasn't trendy when I was a teenager. I guess it's because we didn't have cameras in our phones.

Just to make things clear! I'm not talking about artistic nude pictures, I'm talking about exact pictures of the dicks.

Honestly I do find it pretty funny to exchange nudes with your partner when you're far away from each other, it's like a game. But I don't really get a point of sending them to strangers, especially if they are in another part of the world. What do you want? Show off? Impress me? Make me jealous? Get me hard? Sorry, this doesn't work on me. Or maybe it's just an exhibitionism? Ok so, but still it doesn't work on me. Besides, there was nothing interesting or jealous worthy.

Listen to this girl, she speaks the truth!

I can't stop laughing at what she says, but damn she's so right, like she's also going to see lots of #Madonna shows))))) #money #RebelHeartTour #bankruptcy #debts

Joking))) I don't even care about your money! :-P

Ant #317. Online dating.

If I wrote this post 2 years ago, there would be an absolutely different text. Here it comes...

I was always against it. I found it pretty desperate. But now I totally changed my mind (even tho I don't use it for myself). We live in the 21st century. There was no mobile phones just a few years ago. The ways we communicate have changed forever. So why not? Let people meet online! There's nothing disturbing to me, except of one thing...

Youngsters nowadays are so into modern technologies. I find it absolutely great, but along with communication ways, people's attitude changed as well.
Once again it's absolutely OK now to meet someone online, talk anything to a stranger, send nudes before even saying hello. As long as it doesn't hurt people, it's absolutely legal.

My point is there's no miracle anymore. Maybe, I'm too old-school, but I seriously miss those days when you had to date a person to know something about him, I miss this magic (and shaking hands) when you undress a person for the first time.

I tried a couple of web-sites when I was younger, I even tried Tinder a few months ago. It never worked on me. I still prefer meeting people in a bar or via mutual friends.

Ant #316. Uniqueness.

Many people think they are different, they are something unique, something exceptionally great while actually they are so basic. But modern society makes them thinking this way. We all see these "queens of the world" everywhere.

I don't know if it's good or not, I just see that people are terribly afraid of being normal.

I remember when I was 14 or 15, there was a parental meeting in my school and my teacher told them... "I can see a separation in the class. There are 3 groups: 1st group - boys, 2nd group - girls, 3rd group - ..."

3rd group was only me. No, I wasn't despised or bullied, never. But people always thought I was different and couldn't really contact me. I also wasn't looking for connection, but I was suffering of them thinking I was weirdo when I desperately wanted to be normal.

Ant #315. Goodbye, life.

I saw many many times people post horrible stories about suicides of gays who were bullied.

Thought #1.

In the amount of people who suicide, how many of them were gays?
Try to understand me, every case of suicide is a terrible story that should never happen, but do we ever see in newspapers that someone suicides because he lost his job or lost his money, or because his wife cheated on him? No. So what does make gays special? I don't get it.
Some people are assholes and some people suicide. This is just an ugly truth of the life. Shit happens. That's why...

Thought #2.

It doesn't matter what was the cause of suicide, we shouldn't praise it. Suicide isn't a solution. It's for weak people. That's what we should say to anyone who ever thinks about it. Don't kill yourself! Fight! We're here to help you if you need, but don't give up! This should be a massage. But instead we have "Oh poor babe, he killed himself because he was treated badly by his horrible classmates." After reading this every teenager will think "Ah, so I have to kill myself to get some compassion."

Modern humanity exists many thousands years, and during all this time we were treating each other badly. We aren't able to change it, we will always be like this. So we have to deal with it. And instead of praying for the world peace (which will NEVER happen), we should grow balls and when they drag us in dirt, get up and keep going.

Period.

Ant #314. Ginger.

When I was a baby, I was ginger. My head hair was almost red and I had freckles all over my body!
But during my puberty my hair became blonde, even though my barber told my I had many many red pigment and when he dyed my hair, the color always left more red.
Now I almost don't have freckles on my face, but still there are lots on my hands and shoulders.

Personally I always hated them and wanted them to go, to disappear. But all of my friends and partners loved them, and this is what took me away from some radical methods ))))

Here they are, my lovely freckles! ^_^

Ant #313. Left - Right.

It's not about socks or driver license exam.
This time I wanna talk about serious and very important things to me...

A small pretty girl gave me a flyer. I took it. There was a logo of pro-government party. I gave it back. "No fucking way I vote for left-wing politicians."
I kept walking... and thinking that sometimes it's hard to stand people with opposite political views. Almost all of my friends in Russia (those who I chose, not those who I had in my school or university) are liberal, respect freedom and self-responsibility, believe in a power of market and think that everyone gets what he/she deserves. So do I! These views are usually called right-wing.

The problem is that since I moved to Argentina, which is absolutely socialistic country, I'm in minority. A very few people share my views. All the rest think that right-wing politicians equal to corrupted politicians. They call a fascist everyone who says he doesn't care of lazy people who never worked in their lives and have always lived for the money that the government gives them (taxpayers actually, not the government).

It's like a gulf between us. We'll never agree.

Oh, and I'd never date a socialist )))))

Ant #312. April Fools Day.

Every year I make the same joke about getting into relationship and every year the drama starts!
No details because I don't wanna shade anybody, but trust me I pissed myself with laughter at some people ))))))


I wanna say a big thanx to my dear friend Lu-Lu who had balls and wasn't ashamed to participate!

Here he is! 
My one day boyfriend! >>>

Follow him on Instagram!

https://instagram.com/luenletras/

He's very cute and such a sweetheart! <3 

And to all of you...

Happy April Fools Day! ;-)

Ant #311. Me, myself and I.

I've always been told by many people that when they see my photos they think there are a few different persons, and I think it's true coz I feel the same some times.

I don't know if it's because I'm loosing and gaining weight or because I'm changing my hair or because of anything else. It's just a fact!

Period.

Ant #310. Mentality.

I talked to one of my argentinian friends about the current situation here.

My point was that there are lots of things to change and the first one is the government.

He said that the new one won't help coz they will be as corrupted as previous one and added "it's in our mentality".

I don't believe in mentalities...

North Korea <-> South Korea

East Germany <-> West Germany (till 1990)

South Italy <-> North Italy

And many more example of absolutely the same people choosing different ways.

There's no mentality. There is an ignorance.

Ant #309. Rebel Heart Tour.

MADONNA GOES ON "REBEL HEART TOUR"

I know there's nothing new! The tour been announced like a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't have time to express my excitement about it. It's always the best time for me: travelings, meeting friends (old and new ones), seeing new places, queuing and of course watching the best show on Earth!

Nobody puts the show together like Madonna!

For the moment I have tickets for 7 shows:
1) Miami, USA.
2) New York, USA.
3) Cologne, Germany.
4) Prague, Czech Republic.
5) Berlin, Germany.
6) Stockholm, Sweden.
7) Herning, Denmark.

UPD: Two more shows:
8) 2nd show in Cologne, Germany,
9) 2nd show in Berlin, Germany.

UPD [2]: One more...
10) 2nd show in Prague, Czech Republic.

But obviously my own tour itinerary will expand )))))
I'm so damn excited!

For tickets and info click here: http://www.madonna.com/tour

Ant #308. Madonna at Brit Awards.

Superhuman, triumphant, living icon, hero...

That's how tabloids all over the world called Madonna after her epic performance at Brit Awards last night. But it wasn't only epic because of the show itself. She took a tumble...

It was one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life. My heart stopped when her dancers pulled her cape (as it was obviously planned) and she fell downstairs along with it. And I almost cried when I saw how this little fragile woman got up, put herself together and continued the ‪show‬. And she killed it all! Who even remembers there was a ceremony? Everyone talks about Madonna!

One of my friends posted on Facebook that suddenly he remembered one "Sex & the City" episode where Carrie Bradshaw fell on runway. So did I.
Here it is... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDOdrcV5dfs

And that moment Carrie thought: "I had a choice – I could slink off the runway and let my inner model die of shame, or I could pick myself up, flaws and all, and finish. And that’s just what I did. Because when real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking."

There's no one to blame for what happened. I think it's a fault of many people: of a designer/costumer who didn't make a velcro for the cape, of dancers who didn't notice she wasn't ready and pulled her down, of choreographers who decided that the cape should be taken off while she's on stairs (if she was standing on the floor she wouldn't fall, or at least not that hard), and of course of her own, coz in the end she's an artist and she's responsible.

But after all Madonna is a human being too. Shortly she posted on her Instagram.

Armani hooked me up! My beautiful cape was tied too tight! But nothing can stop me and love really lifted me up! Thanks for your good wishes! I'm fine! ❤️#livingforlove

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Feb 25, 2015 at 2:50pm PST

She didn't cry, she didn't look for compassion like some singers always do, victimizing themselves, she smiled and said she was "fine"! She proved once again that she has a right to be called ‪Queen Of Pop‬, she's the biggest professional in the music industry, she's a ‪‎showgirl‬, and she knows that ‪"Show Must Go On"‬.

I still feel said for what happened, but we all fall sometimes, literally or metaphorically. ‪Love‬ her even more now!

P.S. Smile of a real triumphant! God bless you Madonna! ^_^

Ant #307. Interactions classified by mechanism.

Oh, it's so about human beings.

Interactions classified by mechanism:
Symbiosis
The term symbiosis (Greek: living together) can be used to describe various degrees of close relationship between organisms of different species. It is used only for cases where both organisms benefit.
Competition.
Competition can be defined as an interaction between organisms or species, in which the fitness of one is lowered by the presence of another.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_interaction#Interactions_classified_by_mechanism

Ant #306. Hospital.

So how was it?
Two days ago I felt a bit strange. I couldn't really describe what happened, but I felt like a dead battery.
Yesterday I woke up, do some home work and went out. After one meeting and short walk across the city I went to the monastery (my fav place) to drink a coffee and then went home.  Here I felt bad...

It was burning in my chest and seemed like someone grabbed my organs tight. And because I never experienced and heart or stomach or any other problems, so I thought it was a heart attack! From being sick physically I went to being sick emotionally. It turned into a panic attack, coz I didn't understand what was it and I knew that if I faint nobody calls to emergency (I live alone). I decided not to call them for myself and go directly to hospital, I didn't want to stay home alone. Just in case, I put in my back bag my documents, phone charger, took some money, and in 3 minutes I was in a taxi on my way to hospital.

First doctor appeared. A woman. I tried to explain how I felt, she started asking if I had a stress. I said I was ok. She called for the 2nd doctor. A man. He asked the same. Then they checked my pulse. It was perfect. They checked blood pressure. Perfect. The woman left, the man kept asking me if I was stressed recently, if I had stomach problem, if I vomited or not. I was "WTF? I'm having a heart attack! Why are you asking me this shit?"

The woman came back with a Electrocardiography machine and another one doctor. Another man. They checked my heart beating seriously. And haven't seen anything bad at all! The 3 rd doctor asked me if I ever had pancreatic issues and if I still have an appendix. He checked my whole body, it was painful nowhere. Checked and pushed a chest one more time, nothing, no pain at all.

All 3 were like "You're absolutely fine! It must be nerves. Did you receive bad news recently or break up with someone?" But I couldn't confirme anything. Anyway they kept saying it's all because of nerves which affect a pancreatic system.

And just to make sure they told me to check my chest on X-rays. I came back in a few minutes with images. All three + 1 new one doctors saw them and declared I was 100% healthy. It all turned into a joke, they couldn't make anything, while I kept feeling me not so good. The 4th doctor asked me what I ate during the day. I replied that almost nothing, I was about to cook when I felt bad and went to the hospital, I only drank a coffee and s small desert. He asked if I drink a lot of coffee? I confirmed that twice a day, more or less. He said "That's it! For the next 10 days, no fat or fried food, and NO COFFEE!" (which sounded horrible!!! Everyone knows I cannot live without coffee!). He gave me a receipt for some pills and let me go home.

Today I feel way better! But yesterday I was scared as f*ck! >_<

I'd like to thank all the doctors listening to my noise and to all of my friends who were worrying for me! I do appreciate it! Thank you!

Ant #305. First impression.

"When you meet a person for a first time, try to do your best, because you never get  a second change to make a first impression!"

That's what my professor of marketing  told me when I was in university.
Smart, isn't it?

I'd like to meet my clone to see what impression I make.
I hope it's not that bad.

Ant #304. Living For Love.

I read many comments about new Madonna's video, all the people seem to love it, but some of them were a lil bit confused with its aggression and violence. They said that the song itself is so bright, it's about getting stronger and not being disappointed, it's about believing in love.

Hard to disagree, but...

I feel something different. Yeah, it's a dance track, but lyrics sound bitter to me. I'm not sure if it's about interpretation or life experience. I guess anyone who was betrayed and thrown out even once, knows how painful it can be. You can survive, you can learn this lesson, you can get stronger and blah blah blah, but every break-up leaves a scar on your heart, if you have it and you truly loved. And it's good if you staying above the situation and not willing to revenge, but come on, I'd never believe that someone felt fine after all this shit.

Madonna sings, "I can forgive, but I will never forget." And you keep saying that the song is bright?

Ant #303. Perfect city.

I was born in a small city, but I love big cities.
Never understood how people can live in a countryside. It's so boring... )))

I loved living in Moscow, and I love living in Buenos Aires, even if it's not as big and modern as russian capital. So I thought what should the city where I live look like?! Previously I'd say it must be a capital city, but what's about San Paulo or New York? They aren't capitals but I could easily live there. Then I realized...

I can live in any city with:
1) Starbucks,
2) Subway/Metro/Underground system,
3) Madonna's concerts.

That's it! Very simple )))

Ant #302. Party hard.

Shortly...

We had to call to ambulance last night because one guy overdrank!
That's what I call a good party) LOL )))

P.S. I've been told "Brindo por y con tu leche!"
Those who speak spanish know that it's totally gross! Hahahahaaaa))))

 

Ant #301. The day it's all begun.

The night on 22nd of february of 2001.
I'm a 15-years-old boy watching a TV, changing channels...
"Boring... Boring... Boring... Oh, Grammy Music Awards. Never heard of it. Let's check it out..."
And in a few second... "Wow! Limousine! Wait, wait... Wait a second, I know the melody, I heard this song in a club [yes, I was clubbing since 11] las saturday. What was the singer's name? It was cool, I remember... MADONNA! Yeah!"

When the performance ended, I was like "Oh my f*cking god! This woman is amazing and damn hot!"

It was the very first time I saw her on stage. Before that I didn't even know how she looked like. In my home-town we didn't have any music channels.
The day it has all begun! The day when my life has changed forever!

So it was pretty exciting to know she's about to perform at Grammy's again, this year, on february 8th. Can't wait to see it! With no doubt it will be phenomenal!

Ant #300. Mountain top you cannot get.

I won't be doing retrospectives any longer as I did every 100th post.
Let's better talk about something more interesting.

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with one of my best friends. About love, of course.
She asked me how many times I've been refused in my life. I replied that just once. And she said that I shouldn't be worried about possibility to die alone. Well, yeah, maybe... But it made me think about another thing.

Imagine that you perfectly play chess and lost the championship in the final. Or you do yoga and can strike any pose except of the only one. Or maybe you're the best alpinist and the only mountain top you cannot get is Everest.

And then imagine that you play chess so-so, don't do yoga at all and the only time you were in mountains was in your high school with your teacher of geography.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know how it feels to hear NO. I've got everyone I wanted... Well, almost...
I've been refused once, but I still cannot forget it. It follows me. And I guess that it's even worse than if it was kinda usual for me.

Ant #299. Fuck me, I'm 29.

This is the last year of my 20s. But I'm not sad at all. Moreover I'm happy! I don't get people who say that they miss their youths. I like growing up, I like becoming smarter, I like getting deeper. The youth is a horrible time. You're just an idiot with strange interests and bad company. Luckily this time is in the past! I'm looking forward to turn 30! ^_^

I don't know why but today I woke up with a weird thought in my head... I've never been told I'm beautiful. I mean a physical beauty. Of course during my life I had many people around me who were charmed by me and yes they told me I was beautiful, but it's not the same. People in general never told me that. And that's true! Let's be honest, I'm far from being handsome. I'm small, I'm a bit fat, I have a strange face with a big nose. As a teen I had so many problems with a taste, when I see my old pictures with these awful hairs and clothes I wanna die. What was I thinking about? And I was even fatter. 

But I've always had lots of admirers and I still have. I guess it's just because I'm cool ))))) People say I have a magical light inside and a devil in my eyes. I make people feel attracted to me even if it's not my intention. 

I could have dealt with this and live it up, but I have a huge desire to be sexy, adventurous, magnetizing and handsome. Maybe it's my biggest complex. Who knows... 

And I have many years ahead to try to fix it. I'm only 29! 

;-)