Do you know what is "The fellow traveler effect"?
It's a term of psychology meaning the wish of a stranger to tell you his whole life.
Last night I met a gay-guy (the friend of my friend) who felt need to involve me into the story of his life.
When my friend fell asleep, we stayed together with this guy, and he immediately started confessing.
It was very strange. We have met the first and (probably) the last time in our lives, but nevertheless I've learned about him so many things. He was talking about his childhood and hometown, about his student life in a new city, about his first sexual experience, about his biggest love... And it was the most interesting to me.
He met this guy on a dating web-site, but it was a love from the first sight. This guy is a little bit older and has a great job, so the confidentiality was the only one and very serious requirement. And in the beginning everything was good, but then something went wrong... Their farewell was full of tears, pain and... love. But they had to leave...
And now he's alone. They both are alone.
I don't know how could I keep silence. I was looking into his eyes and listening to all these beautiful words which he was using to describe that guy and their relationships. Just amazing...
It was almost 8 am when he finished this story with words "Yeah, it was great, but so many time has gone. I'm back on a dating site, maybe I'll find someone else?!"
All I could say is "Look at you when you're saying about him! Even if you have renounced all hope to take him back, don't find someone just for revenge! You will never forgive yourself if you do that. Live today, but don't refuse all these bright memories! If I was in your shoes, I would prefer to stay alone forever. Because all the newbies will never compare to him. You tasted the best, don't agree on worse."
March 31, 2012
March 30, 2012
March 28, 2012
Ant #68. Austrian film festival.
This week here is going the Austrian film festival. I've chosen 2 movies to watch.
The first one is called "Breathing (Atmen)", which is screening in 45 minutes. A 19-year-old is coming out of prison and trying to build a new life, but he can't deal with his guilt.
The second one, and the most promosing, is "Michael". A drama focused on five months in the life of pedophile who keeps a 10-year-old boy locked in his basement.
It will be more interesting for me in case I'm so against the pedophilia, but I'll try to rate this movie honestly.
The first one is called "Breathing (Atmen)", which is screening in 45 minutes. A 19-year-old is coming out of prison and trying to build a new life, but he can't deal with his guilt.
The second one, and the most promosing, is "Michael". A drama focused on five months in the life of pedophile who keeps a 10-year-old boy locked in his basement.
It will be more interesting for me in case I'm so against the pedophilia, but I'll try to rate this movie honestly.
March 27, 2012
Ant #67. Chat with Madonna.
This morning I had fun )))
Madonna joined twitter only for 1 day (for a couple hours, actually), and of course I couldn't miss this opportunity to talk to her.
Mmmmm, yes, she didn't reply me even once! LOL ))))
But I had fun anyway)
At the beginning I was asking serious questions, but then I thought: "F*ck off! She doesn't even read it!"
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Do you like to sleep? )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna HAVE YOU SEEN MOLLY TONIGHT? I DO! *joking* )))
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna DO YOU MISS ME LIKE I MISS YOU?)))
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna HOLD ME LIKE YOUR MONEY! TELL ME THAT YOU WANT ME! ))) I love you, M! ) See you soon!
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Do you have a tattoo "somewhere"? )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Wanna coffee? I'm making right now… Almost 7 am here )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna L-U-V MADONNA!
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna YOU DON'T LOVE ME! I'M OUT! (((
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Hey-ey-ey! Yeah-e-e-ey! I'm a boy gone wild! I'm a boy gone wild! )
Madonna joined twitter only for 1 day (for a couple hours, actually), and of course I couldn't miss this opportunity to talk to her.
Mmmmm, yes, she didn't reply me even once! LOL ))))
But I had fun anyway)
At the beginning I was asking serious questions, but then I thought: "F*ck off! She doesn't even read it!"
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Do you like to sleep? )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna HAVE YOU SEEN MOLLY TONIGHT? I DO! *joking* )))
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna DO YOU MISS ME LIKE I MISS YOU?)))
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna HOLD ME LIKE YOUR MONEY! TELL ME THAT YOU WANT ME! ))) I love you, M! ) See you soon!
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Do you have a tattoo "somewhere"? )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Wanna coffee? I'm making right now… Almost 7 am here )
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna L-U-V MADONNA!
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna YOU DON'T LOVE ME! I'M OUT! (((
@MadonnaMDNAday #AskMadonna Hey-ey-ey! Yeah-e-e-ey! I'm a boy gone wild! I'm a boy gone wild! )
March 23, 2012
Ant #66. Offline.
Today I felt it's enough.
First I deleted my account from formspring, then my 2nd twitter and finally I crashed my account in the most popular local social network.
It would be a lie, if I said it was easy. Not at all. When you're addicted to internet it's kinda tough to remove it from your life, but I did it and now I feel free. It's like you start the new life! The real life, free of web-shit.
I had reasons to do this.
First of all, I'm so tired of this endless misunderstanding in internet. When you're not talking face-to-face, noone can read your emotions or intonations, that's why people can interpret your words how they want. And it starts again and again... "You don't respect my opinion!" or "Your words are so insulting!" or simply "F*ck you!"... Pffffff..... I've done!
Next reason is I've just lost any point to stay online and connected with these people. I don't care what they post, they don't care what I post. Very often I skip all their sh*t. If we are really good friends I don't see a problem. We can call each other anytime and meet. And we will be able to talk and understand each other clearly!
3rd. You're free to post anything, my dear! I won't see it! You can post gaga, your porn-pictures, like other guy's photos, become friends with everyone. Since this moment I don't give a...
First hours it was very funny to watch people's panic!
Come on, I'm not dead, I'm just offline. ;-)
First I deleted my account from formspring, then my 2nd twitter and finally I crashed my account in the most popular local social network.
It would be a lie, if I said it was easy. Not at all. When you're addicted to internet it's kinda tough to remove it from your life, but I did it and now I feel free. It's like you start the new life! The real life, free of web-shit.
I had reasons to do this.
First of all, I'm so tired of this endless misunderstanding in internet. When you're not talking face-to-face, noone can read your emotions or intonations, that's why people can interpret your words how they want. And it starts again and again... "You don't respect my opinion!" or "Your words are so insulting!" or simply "F*ck you!"... Pffffff..... I've done!
Next reason is I've just lost any point to stay online and connected with these people. I don't care what they post, they don't care what I post. Very often I skip all their sh*t. If we are really good friends I don't see a problem. We can call each other anytime and meet. And we will be able to talk and understand each other clearly!
3rd. You're free to post anything, my dear! I won't see it! You can post gaga, your porn-pictures, like other guy's photos, become friends with everyone. Since this moment I don't give a...
First hours it was very funny to watch people's panic!
Come on, I'm not dead, I'm just offline. ;-)
March 20, 2012
Ant #65. MDNA track-by-track review.
1) Girl Gone Wild - 5* - Wonderful opening of the album, showing its atmosphere. There's no way to sit down when you hear the first accords. The lyrics tell us who Madonna really is, "I'm a bad girl anyway" she sings in the end. Of course, she is, she's been and she always will be.
2) Gang Bang - 5* - It's beautiful in its darkness. The beat makes my heart beating faster. Incredible lyrics, simple and full of metaphors. Great idea to make this song growing up, but not blasting. It's like an orgasm with no cumming. After listening to this song, I'm moaning "Oh, Madonna, give me some more, pleaaaase!"
3) I'm Addicted - 5* - If you still don't understand why the album is called MDNA, listen to this song once again. It's a drug, the most dangerous drug in the world. The music is simply awesome. The strongest track on the album.
4) Turn Up The Radio - 5* - It must be the next single, definitely. Even if it's not my favorite track, the people will love it. Bright and shiny, and the most important is it doesn't have obscene. To pass the censorship on TV and radio many songs must be edited and they will lose their charm. But this song is made for the airplays.
5) Give Me All Your Luvin' - 5* - I still love this song, and I don't f*cking care what do you think about it. It's funny, catchy and could to be the huge hit.
6) Some Girls - 3,5* - I don't know who produced this song, but he must be fired. It has a nice retro smell, but it sounds like any Bloodhound Gang's song, that's completely disappointing. But I think people will like this song.
7) Superstar - 3* - Not very interesting song to me. Nice rhythm, but the melody is too simple and not catchy at all. "Ooh-la-la, you're a superstar!". Aha, yeah.
8) I Don't Give A - 4,5* - Ooooph, that's bold! Great funny song with a smash beat and cool personal lyrics. It's a slap into so many people's faces. Nicki Minaj is extremely relevant in this song. Her rap makes me laughing like a devil. "Hey-yo Madonna, you're original don dada!" Don dada??? Suuuuuure)))) Ahahahhaa)))) "There's only one Queen and that's Madonna, b*tch!" Yes, NM, we know it. Thanx. ;-)
9) I'm A Sinner - 3,5* - If "Beautiful Stranger" song didn't exist, I would rank this song with 5*, but sorry, it's a self-repetition. It's obvious, cheap and unforgivable self-repetition. I knew she didn't need Orbit in this album, and this track has proved my fears.
10) Love Spent - 4* - I've changed my mind about this song... A lil bit. I still don't like the 2nd part of the song, which was leaked as a snippet. I don't even like that the song sounds like two different songs merged in one. To me it's weird. The lyrics is what made me to rate it 4*, I find it kinda interesting. Nothing more to say about this Orbit's work.
11) Masterpiece - 4* - On "W./E." soundtrack I would rate it with 5*, because I love it so badly. I'm pretty sure that everyone who loved at least once must love "Masterpiece". The comparison to Mona Lisa is a brilliant work of art. But I think this song is not supposed to be on this album. Absolutely another story.
12) Falling Free - 2* - From the moment I first heard it I think it's a fail. And don't even try to tell me about lyrics. When the music and melody are unlistenable, I don't care about words. Boring, boring and boring... Madonna could do better. Could William Orbit? Barely. At least on this album. I wanted to rate it with 1*, but I'm afraid of readers's revenge. )))
13) Beautiful Killer - 5* - Excellent old-school work, my second favorite song on the album. "Can't really talk with your gun in my mouth..." ))) Oh yeah, Madge. We know you like it )))
14) I F****d Up - 3,5* - Not bad song, worth its place in bonuses. I do like how the beat grows up and then falls down. Very interesting. As it was previously said, this song is dedicated to her ex-husband Guy Ritchie and she's probably missing him. Well, from the first listening I thought the same, but in the end there's a word putting everything on its place. "I wish I could have you back maybe one day... Or not?!" You got it? She doesn't want to have him back, it's just an nostalgia, waves of the memory.
15) B-Day Song - 3,5* - I wanted to rate it with 0*, but damn it, this shit sticks into my brains. I never heard more idiotic song than this one. I hope at least Madonna had fun when she was writing it. )))
16) Best Friend - 3,5* - I didn't hear the full song, but the snippet is not very promising.
VERDICT:
I wanted to take 1 point out because of re-collaboration with William Orbit, coz I hate self-repetitions more than bad songs. But then I thought it's not fair, because all other songs are incredible. I think it's her best album since Ray Of Light or maybe even simply the best. It's still growing on me. But even if it's left on 2nd place after ROL, it will be her purest album anyway. Very rich sound, deep balanced lyrics, style galore.
My rank is 5*.
The best song: I'm Addicted.
The worst song: Falling Free.
2) Gang Bang - 5* - It's beautiful in its darkness. The beat makes my heart beating faster. Incredible lyrics, simple and full of metaphors. Great idea to make this song growing up, but not blasting. It's like an orgasm with no cumming. After listening to this song, I'm moaning "Oh, Madonna, give me some more, pleaaaase!"
3) I'm Addicted - 5* - If you still don't understand why the album is called MDNA, listen to this song once again. It's a drug, the most dangerous drug in the world. The music is simply awesome. The strongest track on the album.
4) Turn Up The Radio - 5* - It must be the next single, definitely. Even if it's not my favorite track, the people will love it. Bright and shiny, and the most important is it doesn't have obscene. To pass the censorship on TV and radio many songs must be edited and they will lose their charm. But this song is made for the airplays.
5) Give Me All Your Luvin' - 5* - I still love this song, and I don't f*cking care what do you think about it. It's funny, catchy and could to be the huge hit.
6) Some Girls - 3,5* - I don't know who produced this song, but he must be fired. It has a nice retro smell, but it sounds like any Bloodhound Gang's song, that's completely disappointing. But I think people will like this song.
7) Superstar - 3* - Not very interesting song to me. Nice rhythm, but the melody is too simple and not catchy at all. "Ooh-la-la, you're a superstar!". Aha, yeah.
8) I Don't Give A - 4,5* - Ooooph, that's bold! Great funny song with a smash beat and cool personal lyrics. It's a slap into so many people's faces. Nicki Minaj is extremely relevant in this song. Her rap makes me laughing like a devil. "Hey-yo Madonna, you're original don dada!" Don dada??? Suuuuuure)))) Ahahahhaa)))) "There's only one Queen and that's Madonna, b*tch!" Yes, NM, we know it. Thanx. ;-)
9) I'm A Sinner - 3,5* - If "Beautiful Stranger" song didn't exist, I would rank this song with 5*, but sorry, it's a self-repetition. It's obvious, cheap and unforgivable self-repetition. I knew she didn't need Orbit in this album, and this track has proved my fears.
10) Love Spent - 4* - I've changed my mind about this song... A lil bit. I still don't like the 2nd part of the song, which was leaked as a snippet. I don't even like that the song sounds like two different songs merged in one. To me it's weird. The lyrics is what made me to rate it 4*, I find it kinda interesting. Nothing more to say about this Orbit's work.
11) Masterpiece - 4* - On "W./E." soundtrack I would rate it with 5*, because I love it so badly. I'm pretty sure that everyone who loved at least once must love "Masterpiece". The comparison to Mona Lisa is a brilliant work of art. But I think this song is not supposed to be on this album. Absolutely another story.
12) Falling Free - 2* - From the moment I first heard it I think it's a fail. And don't even try to tell me about lyrics. When the music and melody are unlistenable, I don't care about words. Boring, boring and boring... Madonna could do better. Could William Orbit? Barely. At least on this album. I wanted to rate it with 1*, but I'm afraid of readers's revenge. )))
13) Beautiful Killer - 5* - Excellent old-school work, my second favorite song on the album. "Can't really talk with your gun in my mouth..." ))) Oh yeah, Madge. We know you like it )))
14) I F****d Up - 3,5* - Not bad song, worth its place in bonuses. I do like how the beat grows up and then falls down. Very interesting. As it was previously said, this song is dedicated to her ex-husband Guy Ritchie and she's probably missing him. Well, from the first listening I thought the same, but in the end there's a word putting everything on its place. "I wish I could have you back maybe one day... Or not?!" You got it? She doesn't want to have him back, it's just an nostalgia, waves of the memory.
15) B-Day Song - 3,5* - I wanted to rate it with 0*, but damn it, this shit sticks into my brains. I never heard more idiotic song than this one. I hope at least Madonna had fun when she was writing it. )))
16) Best Friend - 3,5* - I didn't hear the full song, but the snippet is not very promising.
VERDICT:
I wanted to take 1 point out because of re-collaboration with William Orbit, coz I hate self-repetitions more than bad songs. But then I thought it's not fair, because all other songs are incredible. I think it's her best album since Ray Of Light or maybe even simply the best. It's still growing on me. But even if it's left on 2nd place after ROL, it will be her purest album anyway. Very rich sound, deep balanced lyrics, style galore.
My rank is 5*.
The best song: I'm Addicted.
The worst song: Falling Free.
March 19, 2012
Ant #64. The cage.
I know it's so bad to say it but these few days in my parents's home were awful.
Thanks God, tomorrow morning I go home.
My mom and sister have f*cked my brains. I never felt like in the cage here. All days I've been dreaming of an escape. I know they are caring about me, but I'm f*cking 26 years old independent man and they are f*cking gotta deal it.
Two days ago mom cried because I've had a dinner at a cafe instead of at home. What the hell? I was walking at city center and I was going to continue sightseeing. And I should come home just for a dinner? It's ridiculous! But it's impossible to explain to her such a simple thing.
Yesterday she cried because I was going to visit my ex-teachers. She said I don't spend a time at home. Damn it! What's wrong with her ego?
Today there was an epic scandal. Mom and sister were trying to give me $500, they think that I don't have enough money even for buying some food. I said NO. It's a madness. As they can see, I'm not dying and I'm far from being slim. I'm travelling and having a full life. But they started to cry saying I'm doing like I'm not a part of family! I was completely shocked and had nothing to say, coz it was the maddest thing I ever heard in my life! They told me I have to call them everyday, but I don't, I had to tell them all about my life, but I don't, I have to come here often, but I don't...
You can call me a sinner after what I'll say, but... I WANNA GO HOME! MY HOME!!!
Thanks God, tomorrow morning I go home.
My mom and sister have f*cked my brains. I never felt like in the cage here. All days I've been dreaming of an escape. I know they are caring about me, but I'm f*cking 26 years old independent man and they are f*cking gotta deal it.
Two days ago mom cried because I've had a dinner at a cafe instead of at home. What the hell? I was walking at city center and I was going to continue sightseeing. And I should come home just for a dinner? It's ridiculous! But it's impossible to explain to her such a simple thing.
Yesterday she cried because I was going to visit my ex-teachers. She said I don't spend a time at home. Damn it! What's wrong with her ego?
Today there was an epic scandal. Mom and sister were trying to give me $500, they think that I don't have enough money even for buying some food. I said NO. It's a madness. As they can see, I'm not dying and I'm far from being slim. I'm travelling and having a full life. But they started to cry saying I'm doing like I'm not a part of family! I was completely shocked and had nothing to say, coz it was the maddest thing I ever heard in my life! They told me I have to call them everyday, but I don't, I had to tell them all about my life, but I don't, I have to come here often, but I don't...
You can call me a sinner after what I'll say, but... I WANNA GO HOME! MY HOME!!!
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