Ant #35. People around me.

First of all I wanna say I do like my friends. But...

Sometimes I wonder what are these people doing and saying?
I mean... We all find friends looking similar to us, not physically, but emotionally. We all like to discuss things exciting us with our friends, we like to share our thoughts, no matter how bright or dark they are, we like to spend our free time with those who bring us a real pleasure.

So why do I feel so... alone? I don't feel I can tell my friends everything, because I'm pretty sure they won't understand me. I cannot discuss many important things, coz every time they're speaking, I wanna tell some of them "Oh please, shut up. At least you'll be looking smarter."

I don't want you to think about me that I'm narcissistic thing. No, I'm not (I hope so!). I just really cannot find common language with 99% of my friends. And it makes me sad.

I feel so mature, comparing myself to them. And I can't stand it. All the time I'm listening to them I ask myself "What are you doing here? Why are you listening to this sh*t? And why are you surrounded by these kids?"

Ooooph. This is hard.