Ant #83. Flowers.

You'll always be a part of me,
What you love can never let you go.
You'll always be inside of me,
Like a flower you grow...

Today I've been in botanical garden. It's a magical place!

Flowers, trees, butterflies, birds, moms with their children... And the smell! Amazing smell of spring!

I wish to have my own home with windows on a garden. I would be going there every morning with a blanket, a cup of tea and my favorite book, laying down and reading it. And leaves would be falling down and covering pages of a book. And a pollen of flowers would be mixing up with a taste of tea. And ants would be running across my blanket.

It would be so nice!

I'm listening to the song now, that you barely have heard. It's called "Like a flower", but it's about love!

Ant #63. I F****d Up.

I fucked up 
I made a mistake
Nobody does it better than myself
I'm sorry 
I'm not afraid to say
I wish I could take it back but I can't

I'm so ashamed 
You're in so much pain
I blamed you when things didn't go my way
If I didn't you'd be hear
If I didn't fight back I'd have no fear
If I took another path things would be so different
But they're not
I could've just kept my big mouth closed
I could've just done what I was told
Maybe I should've turned silver into gold
But in front of you I was cold

I fucked up 
I made a mistake
Nobody does it better than myself
I'm sorry 
I'm not afraid to say
I wish I could take it back but I can't

I thought we had it all
You brought out the best in me
And somehow I destroyed the perfect dream
I thought we were indestructible
I never imagined we could fall
You wanna know how to make God laugh
Tell him your plans

We could have bought a house with a swimming pool, 
filled it up with warhols it would be so cool
Could've gone riding stallions in the country side 
with a pack of great danes racing eye to eye
We could have toured the world in a private jet
Run naked on the beach all soaking wet
We could have climbed the mountains seen a perfect sunrise
Written our names across the sky
We could have gotten drunk and driven on the autobahn
we could have got ourselfs arrested in St Germain
We could have lived like crazy till the day we die
Instead I made you cry

I fucked up 
I made a mistake
Nobody does it better than myself
I'm sorry 
Je suis desole
I wish I could take it back but I can't

I fucked up 
I made a mistake
Nobody does it better than myself
I'm sorry 
I'm not afraid to say
I wish I could have you back maybe one day
Or not...


Madonna.

Ant #49. GIRL GONE WILD lyrics.

It's so hypnotic
The way he pulls on me
It's like the force of gravity
Right up under my feet

It's so erotic
This feeling can't be beat
It's coursing through my whole body
Feel the heat

I got that burning hot desire
And no one can put out my fire
It's coming right down through the wire

Here it comes
When I hear them 808 drums

It's got me singin' hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild
I'm like hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild

Girls they just wanna have some fun
Get fired up like a smokin' gun
On the floor till the daylight comes
Girls they just wanna have some fun

A girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild
I'm like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild

The room is spinnin'
It must be the tanqueray
I'm about to go astray
My inhibition's gone away

I feel like sinnin'
You got me in the zone
DJ play my favourite song
Turn me on

I got that burning hot desire
And no one can put out my fire
It's coming right down through the wire

Here it comes
When I hear them 808 drums

It's got me singin' hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild
I'm like hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild

Girls they just wanna have some fun
Get fired up like a smokin' gun
On the floor till the daylight comes
Girls they just wanna have some fun

I know, I know, I shouldn't act this way
I know, I know, I know, good girls don't misbehave, misbehave
But I'm a bad girl anyway
Forgive me

Hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild
I'm like hey-ey-e
Like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild

Girls they just wanna have some fun
Get fired up like a smokin' gun
On the floor till the daylight comes
Girls they just wanna have some fun

A girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild
I'm like a girl gone wild
A good girl gone wild

Ant #48. Girl Gone Wild.

"Oh my God,
I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven,
and the pains of hell.
But most of all because I love Thee,
And I want so badly to be good."


M

Ant #34. Give Me All Your Luvin'

I'm super excited tonight!!!

Madonna has revealed the cover art of her upcoming single "Give Me All Your Luvin'".

Oh my f***ing god! I cannot stop looking at her!
She's hot as hell!
When I first saw it, I thought I'll dye! Arterial pressure rose, the temperature raised, blood boiled.
I guess I looked like a hungry man! )))

On 3rd of february she's releasing this single on iTunes with her promising-to-be-great video and performing at the SuperBowl Halftime show!

The new album titled MDNA comes out on March 26th.

The Queen! The one and the only!

Ant #24. Best song.

Tonight Madonna has won the Golden Globe for the best song from movie, for "Masterpiece".

Words cannot explain how proud of her I am.
She deserves all the awards in the world.
I didn't doubt she'll win, 'cause this song is so beautiful.


P.S. This morning was so bittersweet. The "hurting" nightmare dream and such a great news.

Ant #9. Madonna's "Masterpiece".

If you were the Mona Lisa
You'd be hanging in the Louvre
Everyone would come to see you
You'd be impossible to move
It seems to me is what you are
A rare and priceless work of art
Stay behind your velvet rope
But I will not renounce all hope

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with the masterpiece
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible

From the moment I first saw you
All the darkness turned to light
An impressionistic painting
Tiny particles of light
It seem to me is what you're like
The "look but please don't touch me" type
And honestly it can't be fun
To always be the chosen one

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible
Nothing's indestructible

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible

Ant #6. Family.

There is a song in my iPod. It has a strong lyrics... "The only thing you can depend on is your family."
Hmmmm... Why not, actually? But...
What the f*ck does it mean? Should I forget about my own personal life to make my family feel better? Should I listen to them about what to do and what to say?
And what is the family? My parents or my partner (and maybe children)? Or all of them? And why do I have to depend on them?

I'm f*cking smart, brave, independent man. I wanna learn my own lessons. I wanna do what I feel need to do. And I don't need their advices.

It doesn't mean I wanna leave my family, but I don't feel this kind of dependence.

"I can make it alone..."