June 29, 2015

Ant #321. HIV+ people.

I have a friend (in Moscow) who is HIV positive. He doesn't know that I know it, but I know (don't ask me how).

I saw this video and I remembered about him. I remembered how he never let me to hug him, how he never let me to drink from his cup, how he refused to sleep at my home because he thought he had to force me to clean the sheets after him and didn't know how.

I left Russia more than 2 years ago, but he never opened up to me or to any of our friends. And I understand why. For many HIV+ people it's even more difficult than for gays to come out from closet. There are so many prejudges in a society about this desease.

I feel sorry that I couldn't tell him some words of support... I didn't want him to feel scared or uncomfortable. If he wanted to keep it in secret, I had to respect his decision.

I just wanna tell anybody who has HIV+ friends. They aren't leprous. They are still the same people that you once knew!

June 28, 2015

Ant #320. Rain.

I remember an old russian song where the lyrics say "Nature doesn't have a bad weather. Any weather is good."

I don't know. I have a friend who says that any weather is a nightmare, it's always too hot or too cold or too this or too that. She's funny )

I think I'm alright with a heat and frizzing cold, but I can't stand the rain. It ruins everything, plans, willings to go out, but first of all it ruins a good mood.

In Russia we say that rain is nothing but a sky crying. I think it's a beautiful metaphor. And that's exactly how I feel. I watch the water knits on my window and feel tears rolling down over my soul. I wanna get back to my bed and cover myself with a blanket. Too bad that nobody's bringing me a cup of a hot coffee... ☕

Current mood song...

June 23, 2015

Ant #319. Disconnection.

I talked to one refugee from Russia today. She was like "OMG! There happens this, there happens that", and I found myself thinking that I don't actually care. Then I tried to remember when I read russian news the last time, and I couldn't.

It feels so strange to me. To be honest, I don't know if it's good or not. It's just a fact: I've disconnected.

June 15, 2015

Ant #318. Nudes.

I swear I could open a gallery with all the pics of dicks they sent to me...

I don't remember since when people started to send nudes to each other?! It wasn't trendy when I was a teenager. I guess it's because we didn't have cameras in our phones.

Just to make things clear! I'm not talking about artistic nude pictures, I'm talking about exact pictures of the dicks.

Honestly I do find it pretty funny to exchange nudes with your partner when you're far away from each other, it's like a game. But I don't really get a point of sending them to strangers, especially if they are in another part of the world. What do you want? Show off? Impress me? Make me jealous? Get me hard? Sorry, this doesn't work on me. Or maybe it's just an exhibitionism? Ok so, but still it doesn't work on me. Besides, there was nothing interesting or jealous worthy.

Listen to this girl, she speaks the truth!

Joking))) I don't even care about your money! :-P

June 12, 2015

Ant #317. Online dating.

If I wrote this post 2 years ago, there would be an absolutely different text. Here it comes...

I was always against it. I found it pretty desperate. But now I totally changed my mind (even tho I don't use it for myself). We live in the 21st century. There was no mobile phones just a few years ago. The ways we communicate have changed forever. So why not? Let people meet online! There's nothing disturbing to me, except of one thing...

Youngsters nowadays are so into modern technologies. I find it absolutely great, but along with communication ways, people's attitude changed as well.
Once again it's absolutely OK now to meet someone online, talk anything to a stranger, send nudes before even saying hello. As long as it doesn't hurt people, it's absolutely legal.

My point is there's no miracle anymore. Maybe, I'm too old-school, but I seriously miss those days when you had to date a person to know something about him, I miss this magic (and shaking hands) when you undress a person for the first time.

I tried a couple of web-sites when I was younger, I even tried Tinder a few months ago. It never worked on me. I still prefer meeting people in a bar or via mutual friends.