June 26, 2014

Ant #269. Get out, yankees!

Last night while I was walking across the city I saw probably the most disgusting and ignorant thing that I've ever seen here in Argentina. The whole wall with posters saying "Get out, yankees! Get out, vultures!"
For a moment I couldn't believe my eyes. I took a picture and continued walking.
The organization that released these posters is called "Movimiento Evita" and is pro-government and pro-Kirchner.

I came home and in my head there was the only one thought... Am I still in Russia or what? What the hell happened with a democratic and tolerant country built exclusively by foreigners that came here a few centuries ago?

And suddenly I remembered...
"Economic markets are collapsing, people all over the world are suffering and people are afraid and what happens when people are afraid? They become intolerant. They start pointing the finger at other people. They say "You are the reason! You are the problem! You are to blame! Get out!" The enemy is not out there... The enemy is within!"
The woman was damn right when she first said it almost 2 years ago. This is what I see now in the place where I live.

I don't know if those people who are responsible for posters are just covering themselves with the name of Eva Peron or they really follow her lessons, but I'm pretty sure Evita would never approve this act of discrimination and ignorance. She was teaching all argentinians how to love each other, how to show their compassion, she was fighting for equal right, wasn't she? I'm glad she cannot see how her name is being used nowadays.

I always say it to russians and I guess I'm gonna start saying it to argentinians. Stop blaming other people for the problems you have! We all make our own lives and we are the only ones who are responsible for what happens in our country. If you don't like the situation with human rights, start treating people better. If you don't like the economic situation, vote for another government.

The western society is the one who gave you all the technology to print your shitty posters.

June 24, 2014

Ant #268. Gaydar.

From Wikipedia:
Gaydar (a portmanteau of gay and radar) is a colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability of a person to assess others' sexual orientations as gay, bisexual or heterosexual.
Sounds interesting, right?

Almost all of my gay-friends say they can easily see if someone in front of them is gay or not. I still think it's more based on stereotypes than on inner feelings, but how does it work exactly? I can barely find a gay person in a crowd. Moreover, if I didn't know that my gay-friends are gays, I would definitely think that 99% of them were straight.

By the way, I think that this ability is pretty useful! )))

June 19, 2014

Ant #267. Still small voice.

I have just read on newsfeed that today in Russian Parliament one deputy performed asking other deputies to cancel so-called "anti-gay" law.
It was a 10-minutes long speech about current situation with Human Rights in Russia.
I'm translating a few parts of it.

This law is just too much. It's not protecting, it's discriminating.  
Shortly, every word about existing of homosexuals with no negative context now claims as gay-propaganda.
If we don't understand that people can be different, can eat different food, can build their own families, we will always be a part of the most horrible war - war in our homes. Is it a life that we want for our children?
This intolerant atmosphere raised the number of suicides, especially between teenagers who discovered their homosexuality... The law doesn't let them speak about their feelings - you call it "propaganda". But the law still do let the persecutors bully those kids, insult them, turn their lives into the hell. 
All the talks about sexual orientation of another person in modern world are unacceptable. It's not the most important thing in a human being.
Do I understand that you will deny my suggestion [about canceling the anti-gay law]? Yes, I do. Do I think that in this case my performance was pointless? No, I don't... Thank you for attention.

The full speech you can listen to here (if you understand russian).

I also don't think that this speech was pointless, even though she was supported only by 12 deputies (out of 450), but I believe it's just the beginning. The more people wake up from this nightmare life, the more tolerant we become. It's really important for all the gay-community in Russia to know that they are not alone!

June 10, 2014

Ant #266. Challenge accepted.

Yesterday I talked to a friend (female) who is deeply in love with one guy.

She was like "Oh, gosh, sometimes it's so hard to open your heart to someone, it burns inside, but when I'm in front of him I barely can say a word!"
I said "Oh, come on! Where are your balls? Tell him everything you feel and let's see!"

- Are you f*cking insane? I'll die immediately!
- Don't be a pussy! It's not that hard. Everyone does it and no one died yet. )))
- Do you love someone?
- Mmmm... Maybe! Why are you asking me?
- Let's make a deal! I open up to him, and you open up to someone you love?!
- DEAL! >_<

I have 2 more days to do that! Hahahaaaa)))

June 9, 2014

Ant #265. One week in Russia.

It's been one week since I came to Russia.
June 2nd-6th I was in Moscow, now I'm at my parents home in the small provincial city where I was born.

It is quite useful experience after one year outside the country.

When I was flying to Moscow, I was preparing to feel negativity, to see sad people, I thought that when I get into Domodedovo I will throw up. But when I saw inscriptions on Cyrillics, I started smiling as an idiot and greeting everybody, feeling some looks of disapproval on myself. But I didn't care! Even if I was dying to sleep, I was glad to come back to the hometown (I wasn't born in Moscow, but I consider it as my hometown coz I feel great there). At the airport I was met by a friend, got into his car, and once we left the airport we stuck in a traffic jam. He started screaming at people and showing his middle finger to everyone. I said: "Calm down or someone's gonna kick our asses! ", he took out a gun and said: "No one fucks with us!". I said: "When did you all become that nervous? ", he replied: "It's our life!"

Next 3 days I felt this public aggression even more.  I don't know if something really happened there or it's just me after a year in Argentina.

The city itself I loved a lot! I never noticed earlier what a beautiful city I lived in. Everything in it for me was kinda ordinary, and now when I looked at it with the eyes of a tourist, I was really impressed!

Then I met my friends. Finally we had a heart-to-heart talk. One of my friend who recently was arrested on a demonstration, now prepares documents and goes to Spain. Our mutual friend will join him this fall. Two more guys (gays that live together for many years) now actively looking for a possibility of moving to Germany. I don't know if they cam manage it or not, but I wish them a good luck! Another friend, a girl (one of my best friends) wants to try to enter the university in Stockholm, she says that if it won't happen, she will come to Buenos Aires to me.

To be honest, wouldn't say that people there have a despair, no, not at all, they are not deathly scared.  I would say that in their eyes I see a kind of hopelessness (though, probably, these feelings are close in fact).

In the city where my parents live the picture was absolutely different.
If in Moscow I mostly talk to the people who have seen the world, with those who went to anti-Putin demonstrations with me, with those who doesn't divide people on white and black, straights and gays, believers and atheists, here, in province, the situation is just horrible. I'm here the third day, but I already want to leave from here. I feel very uncomfortable. Every person told me that I am a traitor, "liberal" and the intellectual lousy, and we were friends with these people since my childhood. I try to stop all discussions about Ukraine and Conchita Wurst before they begin, but people just do not stop, and they don't want to listen to me (thanks to social networks they already know my position). I feel that they were waiting for me to say to my face how much they despise me. All together.

I don't know how to survive 10 more days here, it is very sad and uncomfortable, and the worst thing is that no person shares my views or simply stands up for me when the whole crowd is screaming at me. Wherever I go, whoever I meet, whatever we talk, everything comes to the same end: lynching the tolerant me.

I never thought that in my homeland I will feel myself a foreigner.