December 30, 2013

Ant #229. Good-bye, 2013!

Yes, this is the end of 2013.
"Finally" or "naaaaaaw, so sad"?
How about you, guys?
Was it good or not so?

To me it was... I still don't know actually. I'm typing this letters and I have no f*cking idea about atmosphere of following text.

Well, this year was... interesting. Yes, interesting! Full of life events, crazy changes, storm of emotions positive and negative.

If you know me personally, you definitely know what happened to me in 2013, so there's no need to talk about it again and again. Let's better talk about what I've learned.

-> We must fight our fears. Anything we want to do or to get is much easier than we think. We just need to believe in ourselves and follow our dreams.

-> Sometimes those who say they are our friends are not. And sometimes help comes from those who (according to your thoughts) would never do anything for you. Look clearly, open your mind and give people chances to show who they really are.

-> I stopped being ashamed of myself. I no longer pretend to be who I'm not. And this is such a great feeling, so comfortable inside, so relaxing. I am who I am, get over it!

-> I saw once again how fragile my heart is. I changed my whole life for a love, but I've been thrown away. And that was damn painful. The worst experience ever. And I promise it will never happen again. None bitch is worth my tears. I lock my heart and drop the key into Pacific Ocean. Ciao!

-> It's hard to forgive... I can forgive anything but betraying. I know it's not good, but I can't fight myself. Every time I see someone who hurt me the flame of hate inside of me fires up again. It burns my chest. And I only calm down when this person goes away.

Well, you see... It comes out kinda bittersweet.
But believe me or not, I think it was a good year. I wouldn't like to live it up once again, but I also wouldn't skip it.

Any experience is always experience!

The "Happy New Post" I will write tomorrow!

December 26, 2013

Ant #228. Dad.

Today is my dad's 65th birthday!

I cannot celebrate it with my family like I couldn't celebrate my mom's b-day coz I'm on the other side of the planet, but of course I have called him to wish him all the best!

My relationships with him never were easy, he has some issues, so do I. 
But it's just because we are too similar. 
If you wanna know who's Mr. Dad, look at me. He's strict, strong, serious and knows exactly what he wants. And if I ever will be a father, I wanna be like him. 
He always gives me the best advices and never ask me silly questions about the weather or what I've eaten. You know, the crap that all moms want to know! )))))

So... Happy birthday, dad! ;-)

December 24, 2013

Ant #227. Merry Xmas! Vol. 1

Vol. 1, because there will be vol. 2 on January 7th, when Xmas will come to orthodox christian Russia!


For all those who celebrate Xmas today!
I wish you all the best! 
Find the brightest star on the sky and make a wish and I promise it will come true!

Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho! XD

December 22, 2013

Ant #226. Coyote Ugly.

When I was a teenager, I watched the movie "Coyote Ugly".
It was a crap actually, but the soundtrack was pretty good and I fell in love with one song.
It's stupid, but so romantic!
Let's sing it together!

December 17, 2013

Ant #225. Caution or paranoia?

Every time someone good shows an interest in me, treats me well, respect me etc., I feel like running away / disappearing / dying.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

I destroy my own happiness.

December 16, 2013

Ant #224. 30 years of democracy.

A few days ago there was a huge holiday in Argentina, the 30th anniversary of democracy.
And even if some people here don't think that they live a good life (financially), I keep telling that money cannot bring you the feeling of freedom!

I used to live in a place where you can earn good money, but every single day you live in a fear!
You cannot express yourself, you must pretend someone else.
I'm not even saying that when you walk across the streets you are much more afraid of police than of criminals.

Here I feel free to be who I am!
No shame and no fear!
And I would never change it for money!

More rights, more democracy!

December 11, 2013

Ant #223. The end of the world.

It all started just like a regular rain.
But in a moment I realized that we stuck in the cafe with other people.
Thunder appeared with a strong wind, more looking like a tornado.

The windows and doors (also made from glass) were shaking.
I made a few steps back and heard a waterfall behind me.

Kids and their moms in the cafe started screaming and crying.
I tried to keep calm and make jokes out of all this crap, but it wasn't funny at all.
My friend told me that it happens sometimes in their region, but I didn't believe it.
If it was true, people wouldn't pay attention to it.
Other way around, their reaction was close to panic.
Staff tried to do something, but it all was pointless.
They decided to shut down electricity to avoid electrical shock (there were lots of cables everywhere inside the walls and ceiling).
Once they did it, we heard that something fell on the floor very loudly.
Lately we saw that it was the ceiling, it crashed down!
That moment I really got scared!

Suddenly the storm went away and the staff turned on the light.
And we saw all the damages.
Thanx God, nobody was wounded!

We started thinking about letting out of this place, but the storm came back and the next moment the whole street left without electricity.
We called to our friend that lives in a few blocks from this cafe.
Luckily mobile phones were working.
The storm seemed to go away and we decided to use this opportunity to leave the cafe until it comes back again.
It all made me feel like I was in a scary movie!

But after "swimming" we arrived to our friend's home, wet, but alive!

Thanx, San Francisco, for making me appreciate my life even more!
It was a great experience!

December 5, 2013

Ant #222. Giving up.

Is it good when you give up on something/someone you really want/need/wish?
I was always sure that giving up is what weak people do. I said that we must fight for our dreams.

But how long can you fight for what will never ever come true?
Like when you fight for someone but this person doesn't give a shit about you.
You can fight as long as you want, waste your time, your energy, but you'll be alone anyway.

Enough! I was suffering too much, I was asking, begging... but actually fooling myself.
You're not worth it. I need someone who can appreciate my love.

December 4, 2013

Ant #221. Sade and Sasha.

I wonder how many of you know the singer Sade.
She's my night time satelite.
I always play her music when I'm down.
Those who know me in real life could realize it easily.

But probably nobody knows how I discovered her.
She was one of my first love's fav singers.
Sasha always played her when we were driving her car at night, drinking coffee and talking.

Interesting... Where is she now? I haven't heard anything about her for years.
I hope she's doing well.

We didn't even kiss. I was a little boy, but she was already a woman.
But I loved being with her all the time.
I was enjoying every single minute...
Until one day she moved to another city.
Then we talked a couple times but never saw each other again.

But seriously, I hope she's doing well!
One the greatest persons I ever met.

If you feel me now, Sasha, this song is for you! <3

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