Ant #37. Pride.

Can you walk trough your pride? Think twice before answer!

I thought I can't, but tonight I did it... Maybe the first time in my life.

I added as a friend on social networks, i wrote that I'm very sad about everything happening between us last weeks, I apologized.

I really want us to be friends.
I don't wanna look back and feel sadness because of us. I wanna remember YOU as the brightest little star in my life.

Ant #36. Can we be friends?

Yesterday I was unpleasantly surprised.
I opened the forum and saw my ex's post: "I play [Give Me All Your Luvin'] song on repeat!".
I wrote: "Hey. You don't like this song! :-)"
And you know what I got back? It was "F*ck you!"

Why do YOU hate me so much? I didn't do anything bad to you. And if I did, please forgive me.
A long time has passed. It's time to forget all the sadness, insults, mutual claims. It's time to grow up. All the happened is in the past now, and I'm looking forward to see the next day. I do believe it will be better than today and I wish all the best for you too. If not with me, so with somebody else. Truly!

I don't want us to be enemies. I wanna be your friend. Why not? Don't pretend you don't care about me! I know you do! I do too!

Nothing more to say.

P.S. Next time you'll be about to tell me "F*ck you", please, think twice.

Ant #35. People around me.

First of all I wanna say I do like my friends. But...

Sometimes I wonder what are these people doing and saying?
I mean... We all find friends looking similar to us, not physically, but emotionally. We all like to discuss things exciting us with our friends, we like to share our thoughts, no matter how bright or dark they are, we like to spend our free time with those who bring us a real pleasure.

So why do I feel so... alone? I don't feel I can tell my friends everything, because I'm pretty sure they won't understand me. I cannot discuss many important things, coz every time they're speaking, I wanna tell some of them "Oh please, shut up. At least you'll be looking smarter."

I don't want you to think about me that I'm narcissistic thing. No, I'm not (I hope so!). I just really cannot find common language with 99% of my friends. And it makes me sad.

I feel so mature, comparing myself to them. And I can't stand it. All the time I'm listening to them I ask myself "What are you doing here? Why are you listening to this sh*t? And why are you surrounded by these kids?"

Ooooph. This is hard.

Ant #34. Give Me All Your Luvin'

I'm super excited tonight!!!

Madonna has revealed the cover art of her upcoming single "Give Me All Your Luvin'".

Oh my f***ing god! I cannot stop looking at her!
She's hot as hell!
When I first saw it, I thought I'll dye! Arterial pressure rose, the temperature raised, blood boiled.
I guess I looked like a hungry man! )))

On 3rd of february she's releasing this single on iTunes with her promising-to-be-great video and performing at the SuperBowl Halftime show!

The new album titled MDNA comes out on March 26th.

The Queen! The one and the only!

Ant #33. Who really am I?

Today I've been talking to my friend about my ex, who is our mutual friend actually.
I heard he's found someone and they are probably enjoying each other. We've seen newbie's photos, and I'm not impressed honestly. But it doesn't matter, they have a lot of things in common (like gaga or the internet datings where they've found each other), so I wish them all the best.

But it's not what I wanted to say. When I said that this guy looks not very interesting to me, my friend agreed with me and added that he's probably not my ex's style. I said, "So I'm probably not as well".
And my friend told me:

- Buddy, you have an amazing energy! You entice into you, even if you don't wanna do that.
- What? What are you talking about?
- You heard what I've said.

I was a little bit confused with these words, couldn't answer anything.

Honestly, they tell me that, but I don't think it's definite true. 'Cause if it was true, I wouldn't have so many people disliking me with no reason. And yes, I always have a few persons ready to be with me, but I don't do anything for it's happening.

Anyway... Who needs this f*cking energy, if the only one you need doesn't wanna be with you?

Dot.

Ant #32. Body heat.

I never liked to sleep having embraced!
Someone told me "You don't like it and you won't like it untill you find a person who's made for you".
Now I realize this is so true. I've totally changed my mind.

I love it!

It's so amazing feeling when someone's body is next to mine, when I can feel a hand on my breast or I can put my hand on someone's breast, when I can feel the heat in every piece of my body.

I remember the first time when I felt it.
It was... like wow, like an angel touched my soul... my angel. I couldn't sleep at all, I even couldn't breath. I thought my heart was beating million times per a minute.

I would give my all to feel it again...

Ant #31. Madonna.

I wanna say something about Madonna.

I guess there's no need to explain that I'm not talking about mother of Jesus.
Everyone knows I'm talking about the most famous, talented and inspiring woman in the world of all time!

I don't wanna tell you how cool she is, how many albums she sold out, how many awards she won. You all know it. I wanna say what she means to me.

Let me speak...

All my life I've been looking at her and wondering how she re-invents herself, how she grows up, how she's learning every day, how she's getting better staying Madonna.
I've learned from her, from the best, that my life is a long (but at the same time short) journey to the sky. I always have to think what I'm doing or what I'm speaking, because I have millions chances to make a mistake, and who knows will I have a single chance to correct it? Every step can change my life forever and there won't be a way back. I have to be responsible for everything happening in my life!

And during my journey she's always with me! I can find so many different colours in her art for every kind of my mood. Even if I'm happy or if I'm upset, I can play her song and I'll get better.

Only God knows how many friends and lovers will go away, but YOU will never betray me!
Thank you, M.
Long live the Queen!