January 6, 2015

Ant #299. Fuck me, I'm 29.

This is the last year of my 20s. But I'm not sad at all. Moreover I'm happy! I don't get people who say that they miss their youths. I like growing up, I like becoming smarter, I like getting deeper. The youth is a horrible time. You're just an idiot with strange interests and bad company. Luckily this time is in the past! I'm looking forward to turn 30! ^_^

I don't know why but today I woke up with a weird thought in my head... I've never been told I'm beautiful. I mean a physical beauty. Of course during my life I had many people around me who were charmed by me and yes they told me I was beautiful, but it's not the same. People in general never told me that. And that's true! Let's be honest, I'm far from being handsome. I'm small, I'm a bit fat, I have a strange face with a big nose. As a teen I had so many problems with a taste, when I see my old pictures with these awful hairs and clothes I wanna die. What was I thinking about? And I was even fatter. 

But I've always had lots of admirers and I still have. I guess it's just because I'm cool ))))) People say I have a magical light inside and a devil in my eyes. I make people feel attracted to me even if it's not my intention. 

I could have dealt with this and live it up, but I have a huge desire to be sexy, adventurous, magnetizing and handsome. Maybe it's my biggest complex. Who knows... 

And I have many years ahead to try to fix it. I'm only 29! 

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