April 10, 2012

Ant #74. Living in a coma.

I don't even know what day in a row I open my blog, look at it and close it.
It doesn't mean I have nothing to say, it means I don't feel need to say anything.
I had lots of fun, I met my friends, I did a few important things... But who cares? Even I don't care.

It looks like coma. I'm alive, but I don't seem like alive. No thoughts, no emotions.
Damn it, I've been dreaming about it! So why do I feel so unsatisfied now?
I was telling me every day "Keep calm! Keep calm! Keep calm!"
And I got what I want. And it's not what I want!

Where is a firework? Where is a passion? Where are love hormones?
"You change your mind like a girl changes clothes." This song is about me, definitely.

This is so hard to be balancing between mind and feelings. I never could do that and with the age I haven't learned how to do that.

Firework! I NEED FIREWORK!!!

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