March 31, 2012

Ant #70. The fellow traveler effect.

Do you know what is "The fellow traveler effect"?
It's a term of psychology meaning the wish of a stranger to tell you his whole life.

Last night I met a gay-guy (the friend of my friend) who felt need to involve me into the story of his life.
When my friend fell asleep, we stayed together with this guy, and he immediately started confessing.
It was very strange. We have met the first and (probably) the last time in our lives, but nevertheless I've learned about him so many things. He was talking about his childhood and hometown, about his student life in a new city, about his first sexual experience, about his biggest love... And it was the most interesting to me.

He met this guy on a dating web-site, but it was a love from the first sight. This guy is a little bit older and has a great job, so the confidentiality was the only one and very serious requirement. And in the beginning everything was good, but then something went wrong... Their farewell was full of tears, pain and... love. But they had to leave...

And now he's alone. They both are alone.

I don't know how could I keep silence. I was looking into his eyes and listening to all these beautiful words which he was using to describe that guy and their relationships. Just amazing...

It was almost 8 am when he finished this story with words "Yeah, it was great, but so many time has gone. I'm back on a dating site, maybe I'll find someone else?!"

All I could say is "Look at you when you're saying about him! Even if you have renounced all hope to take him back, don't find someone just for revenge! You will never forgive yourself if you do that. Live today, but don't refuse all these bright memories! If I was in your shoes, I would prefer to stay alone forever. Because all the newbies will never compare to him. You tasted the best, don't agree on worse."


  1. Some of the best talks I've had in my life have been with perfect strangers. I love when that happens. It's like being in a movie.

    1. I guess there is a sense in these meetings. Destiny sends us strangers to look at our lives from the side. At least I've seen many similarities in us and have learned a few lessons.